TV Review Time: Love, Death, and Robots

Hello all you questionably clothed women and burly aggro men! Welcome back to our blog. I know we’ve been away for a while but GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT IT LIFE HAPPENS OKAY!
Anyway I’m here today to talk to you about a new anthology from Netflix called Love Death and Robots. There are 18 episodes so buckle up cus this is gonna be a long one!

Being a fan of “genre fiction” can be exhausting, particularly when it comes to sci-fi. Often times it means believing two things simultaneously: “this is beautiful” and “this is bullshit.” See, science fiction has a boy’s club problem. For a long long time sci-fi was considered to be the exclusive realm of men. This happened in the same way it has happened with many other “nerdy” pleasures; a suffocating wall of gate-keepers that release male-gazey and misogynistic shit pretty much exclusively and then decided that that’s the only thing that sells because it’s the only thing they would sell. Sci-fi has had many brilliant artists that create breathtaking works about humanity, reality, and what it means to be alive…that nevertheless portray women with an almost gleeful disdain.

There has, in recent times, been a concerted effort to push back against this trend. Netflix’s new anthology Love, Death, and Robots…does not. Created by Tim Miller and David Fincher from the ashes of their long dormant resurrection of Heavy Metal, the series is a retrograde love letter to sci-fi’s past. Full of equal part’s beauty, brutality, and hyper-sexualization of almost every woman on screen, the series is a fun and often frustrating watch. If you’ve ever seen Heavy Metal or read the magazine on which it was based then you know what you’re getting into here. If you haven’t well…be prepared for lots of boobs. Continue reading “TV Review Time: Love, Death, and Robots”

Review The Walking Dead: Ep. 1 – Days Gone Bye

Hello all you questionably accented Sheriffs and welcome to something I will surely come to regret! As you may or may not know, I was recapping Game of Thrones a while back. I do intend to get back to that at some point but it might not be until after the final season. Why, you ask? Well first of all because I really really really didn’t want to watch the Dorne story again, and secondly because this is my blog and I can do what I want. You people don’t pay me GET OFF MY CASE. But also, my mom has been pestering me to watch The Walking Dead for about 6 years now and I decided to finally give in to her demands. Pray for me.

So here’s what you need to know about me. I don’t like zombies. I find them neither scary nor interesting and almost every zombie movie plays out exactly the same way. Night of the Living Dead is good because it’s the original. Dawn of the Dead really cemented George Romero’s place in the horror canon and showcased his clever use of metaphor. Hell even the remake is kind of fun. Return of the Living Dead is a fun subversion of zombie movies and introduced their love of brains into the culture’s collective psyche. And that’s about all I need. With the exception of an occasionally clever entry into zombie canon (hello Pontypool!) the genre just doesn’t do it for me. So The Walking Dead was something I was okay with skipping. But then my mom guilt tripped me enough to force my hand. And here we are. Let’s begin! Continue reading “Review The Walking Dead: Ep. 1 – Days Gone Bye”

Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen

Greetings all you Hoci and Poci and welcome to the most wonderful day of the year! The veil between this world and the next is thin, witches have taken to the skies, werewolves stalk the streets, and vampires have seen returns on some very smart investments they made in the last fiscal year. The world is buzzing with supernatural energy of the spookiest kind! And tomorrow is me and Nikkie’s anniversary so the party just gets to keep going for me! It’s the only time of the year that I feel really alive.

So here’s something weird: I’ve never talked about the Halloween series on here before. And here’s something even weirder: I hadn’t even seen most of the Halloween series before. I’d seen the first one, the third one, parts of the fourth and sixth, about ten minutes of the one with Busta Rhymes, and the trying-way-too-hard Rob Zombie reboot. But that’s it! You’d think I’d have been all-in on the series that bears the namesake of my high holiday from the very beginning but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I even grew to appreciate John Carpenter’s original. See, I’d seen the very first Halloween when I was pretty young. It was at a time when I was old enough to watch horror movies without crying, but too young to appreciate subtlety. So of course upon my initial viewing I dismissed it as boring and didn’t try again for over a decade. Ah youth. It makes us all so so dumb. Continue reading “Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen”

Spookyween #3: The Haunting of Hill House

Hello all you old buildings hungry for the psychological hangups and insecurities of early middle-aged white people! Today we’re talkin’ about a classic. Now, full disclosure, avid horror fan though I am I do have some surprising gaps in what I’ve personally consumed. Some classics of the genre I’ve just never gotten around to experiencing. The Thing, never seen it; The Silence of the Lambs, never seen the movie or read the book – though I find it dubious that so many consider it a horror as opposed to a thriller; Rosemary’s Baby, more like NOsemary’s Baby (I’m hilarious); and up until recently I’d never read “The Haunting of Hill House.”  Continue reading “Spookyween #3: The Haunting of Hill House”

Spookyween #2: The Shining

Hello all you imaginary people living in children’s throats! Have I talked about The Shining before? Surely I have. I never SHUT UP about Stephen King. But look, going through the archive to find out when and how much I’ve talked about The Shining is a lot of work. Work I don’t feel like doing. No one has ever accused me of being thorough in my blogging. So buckle up buckos! We’re talking adaptation, authorial intent, and abuse today! Should be fun!  Continue reading “Spookyween #2: The Shining”

Spookyween #1: A Taste of Beaumont

Hello all you foolish mortals and neurotic vampires! It’s the MONTH OF SPOOKS and that means I, your humble horror host, will be delivering weekly content all about the things that creep, the peeps that crawl, and the horrible undulating monstrosities that go bump in the night! No time of year energizes me more than this stretch of 30 days and unfortunately it goes by in a flash. So bring out your blood bags and call your skeleton friends and let’s get this party started!
Buckle up folks, this is gonna be a long one.

Continue reading “Spookyween #1: A Taste of Beaumont”

Playback: Tales from the Crypt (1972)

Hello kiddies and welcome to another ghoulish review from your old friend Super Hubs. Today we’ll be taking a look at an atrocious anthology of terrifying tales based on EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt. Well, two of the stories are based on Tales from the Crypt stories, the other three are based on stories from The Vault of Horror and The Haunt of Fear. Anthology horror movies were big in the 70s (the production company responsible for this one, Amicus Productions, produced 8 such films between 1965 and 1974) and they were often based off the works of popular horror writers. Horror comics remained a relatively untapped resource, however, considering how massively popular they were. This film and 1973’s Vault of Horror were two of the few based on these comics and they were a passion project of producer and writer Milton Subotsky.

There are still fans of the iconic HBO show that don’t realize Tales from the Crypt is based off of comics and I’m sure many more don’t realize the show isn’t the first screen incarnation of Tales. Anyone expecting the cheeky humor of the TV show (and even the comic book) will be disappointed to find that what little humor there is is of the decidedly, dry and British kind. But are the scares enough to make up for that? Well, let’s find out shall we?  Continue reading “Playback: Tales from the Crypt (1972)”

Playback: Feeling Conflicted with “Hereditary”

Hello all you miniature dolls playing out a Greek tragedy and welcome to my review of Hereditary! In case you haven’t heard, this movies been causing a lot of buzz among critics and horror aficionados. With reviews saying things such as, “It’s the best horror movie of 2018, and possibly just the best movie in general,” “Hereditary is a horror movie that’s almost too scary,” and “Hereditary is a deeply upsetting film that will linger with you long after the credits roll,” how could I stay away? So put on your diapers, hold your loved ones close, and get ready for what is sure to be a crazy ride! As always, spoilers ahead. And according to 98% of the reviews you need to go into the movie knowing as little of the story as possible. Although I disagree.

Continue reading “Playback: Feeling Conflicted with “Hereditary””

The After Word: The Outsider (SPOILERS)

Hello all you poor mooks wrongfully accused of HEINOUS crime! It’s been a while. Sorry about that but real life has this nasty habit of taking over and forcing your attention elsewhere. But then Stephen King released a new book and I dropped everything to read it. Then real life told me to shut up and stop wasting time. It’s been a roller coaster lately. Point is, I read Stephen King’s new book and now I’m gonna talk about it atchoo! Deal? As always, spoilers ahead.

The book is one of dual identities. The first half is a police procedural and a classic locked-room mystery. Beloved small town little league coach Terry Maitland is accused of the brutal murder of a small boy. The case seems open and shut. There are witnesses tracking his every move throughout the day, they find his fingerprints all over the scene, and, worst of all, his semen is at the scene suggesting the crime was sexual. Middle aged Detective Ralph Anderson is convinced by the DA to move quickly and arrest Terry without delay. Worse, Anderson’s son was coached by Terry and, in the heat of the moment and out of anger at the brutality of the crime, Anderson arrests Terry in an incredibly public way. Continue reading “The After Word: The Outsider (SPOILERS)”

Halloween 2017! 5 Overrated Horror Movies.

Hello you roaming spirits searching for you next fix of that sweet sweet soul juice…it’s HALLOWEEN! This is my favorite holiday as I’m sure you could have guessed/I’ve probably said. Seeing all the spooks and creeps makes me feel just so alive. The Halloween season is what I look forward to every year. As soon as my anniversary is done (which happens to be the day after Halloween and is therefore part of Halloween I DON’T CARE WHAT NIKKIE SAYS!) I immediately begin looking forward to the next Halloween season. Which, by the way, starts in July for me.

Sadly though, this Halloween season has been pretty…bad. I’ve felt it everywhere. The decorations feel like an afterthought, the specials are mediocre, youtubers I usually rely on to do a bunch of fun stuff for Halloween have done barely anything or what they’ve done has been cynical. There’s a David Pumpkins animated special and it’s terrible apparently! It’s been a dire year and it shows in this Halloween. Thanks a lot trimp! You ruin everything!

So needless to say this year I’ve been feeling pretty down. So now I’m gonna lean into that feeling and shit all over movies everyone likes! Isn’t that fun?? But I’m not gonna just contribute to the negativity of the year. I’m also going to suggest a better movie to watch instead. So hopefully it’s a net positive! Continue reading “Halloween 2017! 5 Overrated Horror Movies.”