Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones, Season 7, “The Spoils of War”

Greetings, fair travelers of the interwebs. Thanks for stopping by our humble square of digital real estate to get some not-so-sage words about one of our favorite shows.

Let us not mince these words, whether they be sage or otherwise! Dive on in, and watch out for dragon fire!


Lord MWB: Alright, I get it guys; the final battle scene was phenomenal. It was. I’m not gonna deny that. But SHUT UP! That wasn’t the most important part to me. Cool though it was, it had nothin on the #StarkSquadReunion! The Stark kids all together for the first time since season effing one! Pour one out for Rickon, you guys, cus the other kids sure didn’t. But whatever! Arya and Sansa in the same room—hugs; awkwardness. I loved it so much!

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The whole scene where Arya gets stopped at the gates by bungling guards before slipping away was a little too…hammy. I get that it was a direct callback to her attempting to enter King’s Landing in season one, but in an episode so short we probably could have done without it. But when Sansa meets her down in the crypts and they’re kind of chilly toward one another before finally hugging for real… My heart guys. MY HEART.

And then we had Three-Eyed Braven throwing Littlefinger’s mantra in his face. I wonder what exactly Bran meant when he said “Do you know who this dagger belonged to?” Bran sees through all of time, so I doubt he’s asking about who tried to have him killed. Also, what was with Bran looking directly at Sansa while he returned Arya’s hug? Real weird considering he didn’t return Sansa’s hug in the last episode. And I wish he’d have thrown Meera a bone. I get that Bran is pretty much dead, but damn dude. Try to understand human feelings just a little. I still love you though, you phase-shifted weirdo.

Arya vs. Brienne was perfection. I will say no more because I’m still processing exactly how much I love it. I still don’t understand the look Sansa was giving her while watching from the rafters. But I do know that Arya’s not here for Littlefinger’s shit. Watch yer back; Arya looks like she’s itchin’ to kill a creepy uncle.

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Meanwhile, on Dragonstone, Jon shows Dany his crappy paintings and tries to convince her that they’re, like, really profound and stuff. Dany’s mad at Tyrion. And Davos is keeping the strict grammar usage rules alive when it comes to the difference between “less” and “fewer.” Also, internet, here’s a lesson for you because I keep seeing you say that Stannis liked to correct people’s grammar: He didn’t. He corrected their usage. If you’re going to pretend to care about grammar, learn the difference.
Theon shows up and Jon chokes him. It’s notable that he doesn’t choke him nearly as hard as he choked Littlefinger despite Theon being directly responsible for Jon’s death. Just goes to show ya, creepy uncles are more despised than traitors.

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The battle was great. I thought Bronn was gonna die. Then I thought Jaime was gonna die. Then I got really excited ‘cus I thought the show was gonna be really bold and actually kill off Dany. It would have made literally everyone angry, but I think it would have been really cool. Surely Jaime’s not dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s absent for the next episode, but there’s no way he goes out like that.

All in all, this was a great episode. Top 10 of the series surely. It had some fun humor, some great action, and it was the first time in a while that I’ve been really breathless. And thank gourd Bronn isn’t dead!


Lady MWB: Wowee wow wow. You can probably still see my fingernail marks in Lord MWB’s arm from how much I couldn’t handle the battle scene. I. Mean. Really. I was sweating, I was shouting, I was very close to forgetting that breathing is a thing people do if they want to live. Because if something had happened to Drogon, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to live!

But I will follow my lord husband’s lead and start with our favorite Northerners. Because YAASSSSS. I literally squealed when Arya and Sansa hugged in the crypts. It was too beautiful for words. I honestly don’t think an Arya-Jon reunion would hit me harder because I was waiting to see how these estranged sisters would be with each other. And it didn’t disappoint. I thought it was such the perfect scene between the two of them.

And to the idiots saying that Sansa was looking at Arya with jealousy as the latter sparred with Brienne . . . just no. No to all of that. No to your idiot brains. No. When I watch that scene, I see someone realizing that they can’t go back to the way things were before. Sansa feared she would never see her siblings again, feared they were all dead. When Theon told her that he hadn’t actually killed Bran and Rickon, she had a glimmer of hope. When Brienne told her that she’d seen Arya with the Hound, she let herself hope just a little bit more. But that hope started to fade when Bran returned to Winterfell and wasn’t Bran anymore—confirmed by the weirwood-seeing manboy himself. It came back when she and Arya hugged not once but twice in the crypts. But watching Arya fight the woman who swore to protect her, and almost winning, Sansa realized: That’s not the sister I knew. She’s just as changed as Bran is, even though she can still articulate a thought without bringing up someone’s tortured past. To me, that is the face of someone mourning that their childhoods are truly dead because the girl twirling blades in the courtyard below could clearly do some damage—has told her that she’s done damage—and that is far beyond the argumentative tomboy who threw fits because she was no good at embroidery.

I can’t wait to see how the whole “Chaos is a ladder” thing comes back around. Considering Bran seems to spend most of his time hanging out by the weirwood tree, looking more and more like he’s going to start caressing it, I doubt that he’s going to seek out Littlefinger to finish his thought. I think it’s far more likely that LF will let this statement eat at him until he goes to find out what exactly Bran knows and whether he needs to do anything about it. So we still have a very good chance that Lord MWB’s theory of LF meeting his end because he tries to kill Bran will come true.

And she may not be dead, but poor one out for Meera Reed. I guess this means we won’t get to meet an adult Howland.

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I’m not surprised that we didn’t reach a satisfactory agreement between Dany and Jon in this episode. Even with the promise of many things being resolved in the space of an episode during this season, I feel like it’s greedy to assume that this is something that could be so easily dealt with. I had a very long conversation about this at work already, so I’ll just say my two points very quickly: If Jon didn’t have to please the Northern lords’ desire to stay independent, he would’ve already bent the knee. If Dany hadn’t been losing the war up to that point, she would have been more willing to find a compromise beyond “Sure, you can take some of my dragonglass that I’m not using.” These two people have very strong goals with very specific “Can’t budge on this” items and no real understanding of how to make it work. Give them time.

Outside of that, I loved the little moment where Dany and Missandei were just girlfriends having a chat about the latter’s boo-thang. It offered up the right kind of levity to the episode.

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Like a lot of people, I’m wondering what’s in store for Tyrion. I don’t know if I agree with people who think he was questioning his allegiances as he watched the battle wage on, likely seeing men he might have known get turned to straight-up ash. I do believe that Dany brought him as a form of punishment to get him to think about his allegiances, though. What other purpose is there for having him around in this moment? He’s not the best military man, even if he did help hold things together at the Battle on Blackwater Bay back in season two. And while the argument could be made that she brought him so that he could do some negotiating on her behalf with people she captures post-battle, I think it was mostly a “See what happens to people who cross me.” situation.
I don’t think he’ll leave her side, though. Right now, he needs her to get rid of Cersei. And as much as he loves Jaime, I don’t think that love will be enough to make him #TeamLannister again considering half that team wants him to die for a crime he didn’t even commit (and then one he did). So to abandon his post as Dany’s Hand would not be the best move on his part . . . and she’s probably kill him now that her blood’s all up. I also think that Tyrion is constantly trying to prove himself, and that’s going to motivate him to redeem himself in Dany’s eyes. Sure, most of what she said to him was said in a moment of passion and anger, but things *have* been a bit of a mess since she’s followed his advice. And he’s not going to want to leave it like that—not when he’s had some actual wins in that column in the past. So I’d like to think the tension between these two won’t last for very long. Plus, there was an interview that Peter Dinklage gave saying that part of Tyrion’s problem this season is that he’s got feelings for Dany, and the only way he could articulate that is if it comes up in the material. And that’s yet to be seen. So I can’t believe that they’ll stay on the outs.

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As for the battle, I really thought the show was going to do us a bamboozle and completely wreck the Jaime-as-valonqar theory by burning him up via dragon fire! That would’ve been insane! Before that, I was certain Bronn was going to die because the close-to-ground tracking shots very much felt like a “final moments with a dead man” scene. It was so intense.

I believe it was Bronn who tackled Jaime into the water to save him, not Dickon as many people say. We already saw Bronn abandon his spilled money to try and take down Drogon (and, I mean, he landed, so arguably Bronn succeeded), so I feel like he would’ve gone to the trouble of risking his own life to try and get Jaime out of the way of danger.

Speaking of Drogon: I haven’t see a damn soul say “He used tail whip” on the Scorpion. Because he friggin used tail whip. And the more I laugh about this Pokemon reference, the more I’m like “Yes. Drogon is Charizard.” I know I’m definitely not the first one to come up with this comparison, but it needs to be surfaced again.


That’s it for today, kiddos. It looks like next week is bringing us back beyond the Wall, which means we get more of Tormund—though likely without the Mantzoukas face unless Brienne manages to make her way up there as well. It’ll be interesting to see who (or what) else joins Jon on this journey.

Until then!

May your sibling reunions involve more practical one-upping,
Lord and Lady MWB

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Time

Let’s Talk Marvel: An Arguably Deep Dive into the MCU

Hello to all you spandex-wearing vigilantes and lovers of such! MWB is back on that podcast life to bring you a good-natured view of the MCU—that’s the Marvel Cinematic Universe, for those of you who aren’t initiated.

To go on this journey, we brought along a friend! His name is Ryan and he’s a mess, but we love him anyway!

So enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: Screenrant.com

Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones, Season 7, “The Queen’s Justice”

Hello, hello, all ye gentlefolk.

Welcome back to Recap the Realm, the weekly post where we scream about Game of Thrones and try (and fail) to not bring up the books a dozen times.

So grab a glass (check it for poison first!) and pull up a seat. It’s time to dive in.


Lord MWB: This week was a monumental one with lots of goings on and what-have-yous. Cersei is surprisingly competent, Tyrion is surprisingly incompetent, Bran has a stinky old wizard brain, and Jon Snow is…Jon Snow. Hope you’re prepared to read 8,000 words cus guys, we just can’t help ourselves! (Ed. Note: This is about 3,000 words. Hyperbole!)

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We start at Dragonstone where everyone on the internet assures me a meeting I’ve been looking forward to for yeeeeeeears is going to take place. Don’t get me wrong, Jon and Dany meeting is super monumental and I recognize the narrative importance of it, but…fuck them. I was way more interested in Jon and Tyrion getting back together. And they did not disappoint!
Tyrion is his typical chatty self, crackin’ wise and making Jon uncomfortable by talking about boning Sansa (or not doing that, as it were) and Jon just stands there looking at him with his mouth open like he’s Bella Swan doing some really intense LARPing. Jon is the perfect straight man to Tyrion’s jester, and I wish it was just the two of them hanging out for the rest of the series. I ship them, and FUCK YOU ALL FOR JUDGING ME. And do you know what their ship name is? Tyrion. It works perfectly and you can’t tell me otherwise!

And then Jon and Dany meet. Ima let Nikkie handle the bulk of the talking about this because, I’m sorry, but I kind of low-key dislike both of the show’s ostensible leads. They’re just so…dull. Part of this, I’m sure, is my general contrarian nature, but at the same time, the show spends a lot of time building them up as the destined heroes in a world where we’ve been shown that things like “destined heroes” are crap.
The other problem is that the show is now very constrained by budget and time, so they don’t have a lot of breathing room. Most of what makes Jon and Dany into rulers is the writers frequently yelling at us that they’re super great and then making all the other characters talk about how great they are. But really, Dany is super entitled and never shuts up about how the Iron Throne is hers by rights (which kind of goes against her whole “break the wheel” philosophy) and Jon is just…really really bad at diplomacy. I’m glad he realized how stupid he sounded after Tyrion broods with him later at least, but if it weren’t for Davos, Dany probably would have killed him.

As for Dany, I get why she expects Jon to bend the knee, but she didn’t really present her case very well. She tells Jon to honor the vows of his ancestors, and then when Jon brings up the fact that her grandpa burned his and his uncle to death, she’s like, “Yeah well, that wasn’t me, that was my ancestors.” Expecting loyalty while distancing yourself from the sins committed by your ancestors—isn’t that the very definition of white privilege? I see you, Dany!

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Back in Winterfell, we see Sansa ruling and it’s…disappointing to me. I want Sansa to be smart, and I love that she is smart, but why did NO ONE ELSE seem to think about the fact that they were going to need food for more than a year? How did no one else come up with Sansa’s very basic plan of collecting food from the other houses’ larders when that is the literal definition of a fiefdom? How did no one else think “Oh, better insulate our armor with leather ‘cus winter’s cold af.” Not like they’ve been dealing with THAT EXACT THING for the past, I dunno, all of recorded history. Sansa should be smart, but not because the writers force everyone else around her to be stupid. Because then it just seems like they don’t know how to write her as actually competent. Get it together, people! Sansa is fierce, and you’re blunting her fierceness.

Littlefinger continues to be the worst, and he gives Sansa a brief lesson in metaphysical thinking. I could feel Sansa rolling her eyes during the whole thing. If this were the real world, Littlefinger would be a creepy philosophy professor who invites all his female students to his apartment for a “party.” At least Sansa’s not having any of his shit ‘cus none of us are either! I have a theory about Littlefinger and his inevitable demise, but I’ll get to in a little bit.

First: Stark reunion 2.0!! This (and any other Stark reunions we may be getting) are basically the entire reason I watch the show. That’s a lie, but barely. I love the Starks, and I want them to be together again, and oh my god I almost cried! Nikkie and I had a brief freakout when we thought it might be Arya at the gates, but we also knew that was unlikely; Bran was in the “previously on” section after all. Still, it was great to see Sansa’s reaction. Sophie Turner knocked it out of the park and I really felt her happiness, even if Bran had none.

Now I know I’m in the minority on this, but Bran’s is my favorite story. It’s not portrayed overly well in the show, but I still love it. Yes, Dany has dragons, but Bran has the biggest connection to magic out of any character in the story. He’s such an anomaly in the world, and he’s so much more powerful than everyone else that he’s basically no longer human, as we saw in his emotional deadness this episode. It’s very interesting because if someone were to become an omniscient wizard, you’d have to expect there would be consequences. It wouldn’t be like Harry Potter where everyone’s pretty normal despite being able to rearrange the universe; that shit would mess you up. So it’s cool to see Bran going all Dr. Manhattan.
And you know what, I just like wizards, okay? I like Bran because he’s literally the only wizard in the story (the Undying don’t count). So get off my back, SAM. Magic is cool, and Bran becoming Professor X is cool, and you won’t convince me otherwise! (Note: Sam is someone Nikkie works with who has not yet accepted Bran as her tree lord and savior. She will see the light.)

I will concede that it was super weird that Sansa’s rape was like the first thing he brought up. I get that you’re dead inside Bran, but geez.

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We all expected Ellaria’s daughter to die this episode but daaaaaaaaaaamn was it particularly cruel. Forcing Ellaria to stay alive to watch her daughter die and decompose is just…exquisitely cruel. And as much of a drag as Ellaria and the Sand Snakes have been, man did they act the hell out of this scene. Indira Varma has been criminally underused, but the way she sold the pain with her eyes was just masterful. And that last shot of the two of them struggling against their chains, trying to reach each other… Jayzus.

I do wonder who’s ruling in Dorne now. It kinda seems like the country was made up entirely of Ellaria and the Sand Snakes. Have we even seen any Dornish soldiers with Dany yet?

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The two sieges were very brief, which I actually really liked. In other seasons, either of those battles could have taken entire episodes, but it seems right that they were mostly off screen. We’ve never seen Highgarden or Casterly Rock, and it really shows how easily played Dany was in this whole thing and how in control Cersei is. Tyrion made a huge mistake underestimating Cersei. He’s been surprisingly incompetent this season. Here’s hoping Grey Worm doesn’t die!

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Sam’s story was brief. Fun because Grand Maester Slughorn is a hoot and I like how he anti-Dumbledore’d Sam there at the end: “You broke the rules, dude. Why would you get rewarded for that?” Yeah, I’m sure there’s probably some sort of major information in those scrolls Sam’s about to copy, but I don’t think it’s on purpose if there is. More importantly though, the camera really gave us a nice, long look at Jorah rubbing his greasy, previously infected hand all over Sam’s hand. So… Is Sam about to cause a Greyscale outbreak at the Citadel? Don’t take Sam from us, you cruel bastards!

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So I’ve rambled on long enough, and I’ll let Nikkie pick up whatever I missed, but first I gotta lay down some theory on you. I was trying to do some sleuthing from the preview for the next episode because we get a very clear shot of someone holding Littlefinger’s Valyrian steel dagger, and I didn’t recognize the clothes. It was a quick shot of a grey sleeve with some sort of yellow undershirt. Later, we see a close up of Littlefinger’s face, and he seems to be wearing a grey tunic with some sort of yellow undershirt. He was taking about fighting all battles at once right before Bran shows up…the only character who literally CAN see all possibilities at once. And Littlefinger seemed a bit nervous when the maester mentioned having copies of all the letters Winterfell has ever received. And then we get a shot of Sansa lookin all put upon.
So here’s what I’m thinkin: Bran reveals to Littlefinger that he’s the Three-Eyed Raven and that he knows it’s Littlefinger who set everything into motion and caused the death of Ned. Littlefinger plans to kill Bran with his dagger (the same dagger that was originally going to be used to kill him all the way back in Season 1), but he’s stopped and killed. Now I don’t know how he’ll be killed, but if you’ll let me write some fan-fiction real quick, we do see a quick glimpse of Arya looking at Winterfell in the preview, and we know she gets her hands on that dagger this season. So what if Arya shows up and murders the ever-loving SHIT out of Littlefinger?! I want it so bad. I WANT IT SO BAD.
(Ed. Note: SH would like it to be known that he came up with this theory before other places on the internet wrote about it, and that it would’ve been clearer had Nikkie not taken her sweet time writing her section.)

Anyway…take it away Nikkie!


Lady MWB: Wowzers. That was a lot. And now here’s more.

I HAVE to start at the end. Y’all. Even while she’s dying, Lady Olenna Tyrell drops a mic like no other. I swear to God, this woman was the OG Thrower of Shade, and I want to go out giving half as big a middle finger to my enemies as she did. I mean, WOW. Not only did she chug that poisoned wine like a boss, but she used her last moments on Earth to let Jaime know 1) she knows Joffrey was an incest baby and 2) she orchestrated his murder. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. Has anyone ever died with that amount of pettiness and shade? The only thing that could’ve made it better would have been if she had died literally the second after she said “I want her to know it was me.” Because I would have 100 percent believed that she was so in control that she could’ve felt when she was about to die and timed her reveal perfectly.

All hail Lady Olenna Tyrell of Highgarden, the Queen of Thrones, the Grandmother of Shade, and the Number One Woman to See Through Your Bullshit. May she rest in peace.

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Beyond that, the scene with Cersei, Ellaria, and Tyene really got to me as well. I’d assumed that Cersei was going to kill Tyene before doing anything to Ellaria, but to keep her alive so that she’s forced to watch (and smell) her daughter die and decompose is SO MUCH WORSE than I had imagined. That is some master-class revenge right there. As much as I hate Cersei and think she’s not as impressive as she wants people to think she is, I really have to hand it to her. She wanted to fuck up Ellaria, and she accomplished that goal ten times over.

A lot of people seem to be glossing over the idea that Ellaria will be watching Tyene decompose for the rest of her own life. Y’all. That’s brutal af. Even if Ellaria could have soothed herself with dreams of Tyene as she had been, she’d wake to see her rotting corpse mere feet away. That’s going to mess her up. I imagine that Ellaria’s going to try and bash her own skull in against the wall at some point so she doesn’t have to see that. What an ending to the Sand Snakes/Dorne story. It was definitely one of (if not the) weakest story of the show, but they for sure went out with a bang.

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I don’t know why SH has given me the responsibility of talking about Jon and Dany meeting, as it’s not like I was super looking forward to it either. Although I’ll gladly take any excuse to see Kit Harington on my screen more! But here we are.

I can understand why some people feel that Dany was a little bit of a brat when it comes to her reaction to Jon not bending the knee. But I think something else might have been at play here. While it’s obvious that neither Dany nor Jon really knows how this kind of diplomatic meeting is supposed to go, when looking back, I got the feeling that maybe they were feeling each other out. Their family names may carry weight, sure, but who are these people, really? What kind of leaders are they? The only way to find out is to go in hard.
Think of it this way. Dany has been told for so long that people have been waiting for the return of a Targaryen so that they can go back to the old way of things. But how true is that? The Dornish and Tyrells came to her out of revenge, not out of any loyalty to her. So here is Jon, representing a region that had long been loyal to the realm and only recently rebelled against the throne, and she wants to see if it would really be as simple as saying “I’m back. Swear fealty.” She found it wasn’t, no matter how hard she pressed. Jon, on the other hand, really doesn’t care about the Iron Throne at all. His entire focus is dealing with the threat of the White Walkers. But as the chosen King of the North, he knows he can’t just bend the knee without at least talking to his subjects first. Not without giving them a really good reason for doing so. Thus, he has to stand his ground about keeping his “throne” until Dany can give him a good reason for giving it up.
I feel like Tyrion’s pointed “How can I help you?” ask while they were brooding corroborates this. I don’t think he’d go talk to Jon without talking to Dany first, so it seems likely that they would have said “Okay, now that we know he’s not amenable to the ‘It’s my birthright and you guys promised’ argument, how can we start working toward a compromise?” But Dany can’t look like she’s ready to just roll over either. This has to be a bit of a struggle so that each party can maintain their dignity and the loyalty they have to their separate causes.
So all that to say . . . I’m not that bothered by how poorly things turned out. I think there’s a chance for them to come to more of an understanding. That being said . . .

WHY THE HELL ISN’T JON TELLING PEOPLE HE DIED?! Fucking hell, dude. You’re talking to a woman who actively survived raging infernos of fire TWICE. She effectively birthed the only known dragons in this world. She went on a spirit quest where she saw her dead husband and son. I THINK SHE MIGHT BE AMENABLE TO THE NEWS THAT YOU WERE RESURRECTED!! Especially considering his body is literal proof; just lift up your tunic and show off all those gnarly, unhealed wounds all over your body. No one can deny that.

A tangent off this: WHY THE HELL DIDN’T HE BRING GHOST?!?! Much like no one in the world has dragons, pretty much no one has freakin’ direwolves as pets. Status symbol, much? Bring the other half of your soul with you, you damned idiot.
I know there are myriad issues with this (the wolf-dog they used to portray Ghost died and the CGI is costly) but stillllll. I’ll never get over how underused the direwolves are in the show. They’re so important in the books, and it’s a real disappointment that that’s not being translated to the small screen.

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Honestly, I think we’ve covered all the important parts of the episode! I’m still disappointed that Jaime hasn’t gotten off that Cersei shit yet. I’m wondering if there’s going to be any fall-out from Cersei’s handmaiden seeing the two of them post-coitally. According to online nerds, taking their kids out of the equations, the Lannister twins are actually the ones with the right to the throne based on the fact that way back when, a Baratheon married a Lannister. So with Robert gone and most of the Lannisters gone, Cersei and Jaime are the rightful heirs. More so Jaime being the man, but that’s neither here nor there. My point is that if someone took the time to look at lineage and rights in an attempt to disqualify Cersei because her children were products of incest, they would be SOL because she’s actually eligible on her own.

I really hope Littlefinger is close to dying soon, and I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t want one of Dany’s dragons to get a crossbow bolt in the eye. I’m super excited that Arya is closing in on Winterfell, and I hope that Bran gets out of his time haze soon enough to at least enjoy that. Also, when is he getting his wheelchair? Also, we’ve only got four episodes left. Jon’s gotta head back north soon . . . unless all the footage we’ve seen of him beyond the Wall is the season finale?! Oh my God. I just broke my own mind. I hope that’s not the case haha.


That’s it for this post! We’ll see you next week after what will be the shortest episode of the season (50 minutes).

May your clapbacks ring half as loud as Lady Olenna’s,
Lord and Lady MWB

 

 

Photo Credit: Uproxx

The Great (?) HIMYM Rewatch of 2017: Season 2

And we’re baaaaack. Did we want to be? Meh. But we’ve made a commitment to this, so here we are!

As you may have surmised, this is our post about the second season of How I Met Your Mother, recently consumed as part of our rewatching the entire series to determine whether it’s actually any good.

In our last post, we talked a lot about our overall thoughts of the show, how we wondered whether those perceptions will stay the same, and what we came away with after rewatching the first season. There will be . . . less of that in this one haha. Mostly complaining about Lily.

Let’s dive in! Continue reading “The Great (?) HIMYM Rewatch of 2017: Season 2”

Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones Season 7, “Stormborn”

Hello, hello, hello. We won’t bore you with a lengthy introduction. We know what you came for: that sweet, sweet Thrones talk.
So no teasing; straight to the goods!

But as always: SPOILER ALERT!


Lord MWB: Greetings, fellow Thronesians, and welcome back to Recap the Realm! The 431st most popular Game of Thrones recap on the internet! With your help, lovely readers, I truly believe we can become the 428th most popular. So let’s begin!

Episode 2 was a very slow episode; one of those patented Game of Thrones positioning episodes we’re all used to, where characters talk a lot about doing things without really getting around to doing them. BUT unlike a lot of those episodes, it was still a very consequential episode. Pieces were positioned and moved, ever so slightly, in a way that means the momentum is going to pick up next week and I think it’ll continue to build right on through the end of the entire series. This episode is it; this is the episode we will look back on after the show has ended and say “that’s when the end game started.” Continue reading “Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones Season 7, “Stormborn””

Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones Season 7, “Dragonstone” 

Greetings, lords and ladies; may this post find you in good spirits. A raven has come with tidings, and we hope you have some heavy coats and boots on hand because WINTER IS HERE!!!

That’s right, everybody. The long wait is over—Game of Thrones has returned! And because you know what we’re all about over here at Married with Bookshelves (namely, foaming at the mouth over this show and its founding book series), we decided that we’d take the opportunity to have some steady content flowing up in here!

So every week, we’ll be bringing your lucky set of eyeballs (or just the single sight-seeing apparatus, if that’s your deal) a little recap of the episode and our thoughts on the events therein. Excited? We are! (OBVIOUSLY: Spoiler alert)

Shall we begin?

Continue reading “Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones Season 7, “Dragonstone” “

The Great (?) HIMYM Rewatch of 2017: Season 1

Friends, it is time.

Try as we might, Super Hubs and I realized that we just couldn’t put it off any longer. For the sake of the blog, and with very our souls at stake, we had to do what had once seemed unthinkable: We had to rewatch How I Met Your Mother.

*cue live footage of SH’s reaction*

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I know what you’re thinking. “Nikkie. Super Hubs. You both have been pretty vocally salty about the way HIMYM ended, even though it’s been three years. Are you sure you’re ready” We appreciate the concern, and the short answer is “No.” The long answer, however, is “No, but that’s exactly why we have to do this.”

You see, the rage we experienced after the spit-in-our-faces series finale has never truly quelled, and it probably never will. But I realized that that rage was potentially clouding our judgment. I’d been going around feeling as though the final season completely ruined one of my favorite shows. Then I stopped to think about how the last few seasons had felt like a slog, so I thought “Wait. Was this show really one of my favorites at that point?” followed by “So . . . Was this show ever really *that* good to begin with?” Continue reading “The Great (?) HIMYM Rewatch of 2017: Season 1”

Couch Potato: Castlevania the Series Review

Friends! Readers! Fellow media junkies! Hello once again! Super Hubs here with a real quick review of a real brief show.

Castlevania is a series very close to my heart. Some of my earliest memories are of playing the first game with my mom and brother every day, trying and failing to make a little more progress than the day before. We’d never make it far – the fact that the Medusa sprite triggers very intense anger in me to this day would suggest that we mostly lost to her – but we all loved the game. In fact, one of the things my mom and I have the most in common is our love of horror and, for me at least, it’s Castlevania that really inspired that love in me. Even as a child I loved a good spooky atmosphere and crazy monsters, and this game is chock full of ’em!

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Like this HORRIBLE DEMON

Continue reading “Couch Potato: Castlevania the Series Review”

Couch Potato: My Dramatic Trip to “Riverdale”

Hello hello hello, my pets—Nikkie here. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve gazed upon your shining, beautiful faces. Probably because I’ve never seen them, unless I know you in real life . . . But that’s neither here nor there! The point is that I’m back at it, blog styles, and we’re all super excited about it.

To shake off my cobwebs, I’m gonna keep it brief and just talk a little bit about my latest obsession: the CW’s Riverdale. I had been initially excited when I heard the show was being created. I read Archie comics a lot growing up, and I was definitely into the #HotArchie reboot. But when I found out Riverdale was going to be a dramatic murder mystery of a show, I was less thrilled. Why does everything have to be a gritty re-imagining, full of drama and violence and sex? But then they cast Cole Sprouse as Jughead, and because I’ve recently become obsessed with him, I knew I’d eventually get around to watching this show.

I ended up having to wait until it came to Netflix because when I finally ventured over to the CW website after the show’d been running for a few weeks, the few first episodes weren’t up anymore! Ugh! Thankfully, the wait for Netflix wasn’t that long, and I avoided spoilers pretty easily. I was never looking forward to watching the show, per se. It just seemed like something I’d have to grit my teeth and bear.

Then I watched it. And somehow, by show’s end, I was certifiably obsessed. (Light spoilers ahead.) Continue reading “Couch Potato: My Dramatic Trip to “Riverdale””

Playback: It Comes at Night

Friends, let’s you and I talk about movie theaters. They’re awful right? The floors are sticky, of course. People are always the worst and going to the movies is a situation wherein you have to trust other people not to be dickholes which almost always leads to a bad time. Even though the lights dim, there are still other lights all over the damn place – little strings of colored lights along the stairs, bright fluorescent exit signs, people’s phone screens – look, I get it, we’re addicted to our phones, fine, WHATEVER, but if you’re gonna look at your phone in the theater at least turn the brightness down! And in a very quiet, subdued movie like It Comes at Night you can hear the noise pollution from the theater next door where Tom Cruise is trying to kill a mummy by, I guess, blowing up entire city blocks. That’s what it sounded like anyway. So yes, going to the theater is a very unpleasant experience most of the time. My viewing of It Comes at Night wasn’t exactly ruined because of this, but I think only because the movie was so good.

There are, I think, many ways that It Comes at Night can be interpreted. It’s a hot take on the current political environment where fear and paranoia are king; it’s a missive on race relations; it’s a movie about coming of age in a world where your parents are holding it together just as poorly as you; and it’s a movie about loneliness. It’s all of these things and probably more. Part of what makes it so good is that you can find in it whatever you want. There are no bad guys, there is no real monster, there’s no one thing that you can point at and say “Yep! Kill it! Kill that and everything will get better.” It’s a disturbing movie, but not for the reasons the trailer would have you think. Mostly it’s just very sad. And, as always, spoilers ya’ll.  Continue reading “Playback: It Comes at Night”