TV Review Time: Love, Death, and Robots

Hello all you questionably clothed women and burly aggro men! Welcome back to our blog. I know we’ve been away for a while but GET OFF MY CASE ABOUT IT LIFE HAPPENS OKAY!
Anyway I’m here today to talk to you about a new anthology from Netflix called Love Death and Robots. There are 18 episodes so buckle up cus this is gonna be a long one!

Being a fan of “genre fiction” can be exhausting, particularly when it comes to sci-fi. Often times it means believing two things simultaneously: “this is beautiful” and “this is bullshit.” See, science fiction has a boy’s club problem. For a long long time sci-fi was considered to be the exclusive realm of men. This happened in the same way it has happened with many other “nerdy” pleasures; a suffocating wall of gate-keepers that release male-gazey and misogynistic shit pretty much exclusively and then decided that that’s the only thing that sells because it’s the only thing they would sell. Sci-fi has had many brilliant artists that create breathtaking works about humanity, reality, and what it means to be alive…that nevertheless portray women with an almost gleeful disdain.

There has, in recent times, been a concerted effort to push back against this trend. Netflix’s new anthology Love, Death, and Robots…does not. Created by Tim Miller and David Fincher from the ashes of their long dormant resurrection of Heavy Metal, the series is a retrograde love letter to sci-fi’s past. Full of equal part’s beauty, brutality, and hyper-sexualization of almost every woman on screen, the series is a fun and often frustrating watch. If you’ve ever seen Heavy Metal or read the magazine on which it was based then you know what you’re getting into here. If you haven’t well…be prepared for lots of boobs. Continue reading “TV Review Time: Love, Death, and Robots”

Review the Walking Dead: Ep 3 – Tell It to the Frogs

Hello all you more sympathetic siblings of terrible racists and welcome back to the feature I’m doing specifically for my mom even though she doesn’t read any of these! We’re halfway through the first season and things are…well not heating up but stuff has definitely happened. In this episode families are reunited, friends quarrel, and the Punisher finally lives up to his name. And we’re introduced to one of the fan-favorite characters of the show: Daryl. Let’s dive right in! Continue reading “Review the Walking Dead: Ep 3 – Tell It to the Frogs”

Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen

Greetings all you Hoci and Poci and welcome to the most wonderful day of the year! The veil between this world and the next is thin, witches have taken to the skies, werewolves stalk the streets, and vampires have seen returns on some very smart investments they made in the last fiscal year. The world is buzzing with supernatural energy of the spookiest kind! And tomorrow is me and Nikkie’s anniversary so the party just gets to keep going for me! It’s the only time of the year that I feel really alive.

So here’s something weird: I’ve never talked about the Halloween series on here before. And here’s something even weirder: I hadn’t even seen most of the Halloween series before. I’d seen the first one, the third one, parts of the fourth and sixth, about ten minutes of the one with Busta Rhymes, and the trying-way-too-hard Rob Zombie reboot. But that’s it! You’d think I’d have been all-in on the series that bears the namesake of my high holiday from the very beginning but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I even grew to appreciate John Carpenter’s original. See, I’d seen the very first Halloween when I was pretty young. It was at a time when I was old enough to watch horror movies without crying, but too young to appreciate subtlety. So of course upon my initial viewing I dismissed it as boring and didn’t try again for over a decade. Ah youth. It makes us all so so dumb. Continue reading “Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen”

Playback: Tales from the Crypt (1972)

Hello kiddies and welcome to another ghoulish review from your old friend Super Hubs. Today we’ll be taking a look at an atrocious anthology of terrifying tales based on EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt. Well, two of the stories are based on Tales from the Crypt stories, the other three are based on stories from The Vault of Horror and The Haunt of Fear. Anthology horror movies were big in the 70s (the production company responsible for this one, Amicus Productions, produced 8 such films between 1965 and 1974) and they were often based off the works of popular horror writers. Horror comics remained a relatively untapped resource, however, considering how massively popular they were. This film and 1973’s Vault of Horror were two of the few based on these comics and they were a passion project of producer and writer Milton Subotsky.

There are still fans of the iconic HBO show that don’t realize Tales from the Crypt is based off of comics and I’m sure many more don’t realize the show isn’t the first screen incarnation of Tales. Anyone expecting the cheeky humor of the TV show (and even the comic book) will be disappointed to find that what little humor there is is of the decidedly, dry and British kind. But are the scares enough to make up for that? Well, let’s find out shall we?  Continue reading “Playback: Tales from the Crypt (1972)”

Sorting the Avengers & Co. into Hogwarts Houses

Greetings, nerds. Are we all super stoked for the release of Avengers: Infinity War this week?! Of course we are. No one is as excited as Super Hubs, but the rest of us are pulling our weight.

So, that being said, we decided it was absolutely necessary to do some MCU content up on the blog (more than our Jessica Jones S2 review and my post on the similarities between her and Captain America over the last few weeks). You can expect a post-movie rundown as well, but until we get our asses in the seats on Saturday, we thought it would be fun to Sort all the MCU characters we could think of into Hogwarts Houses, a la our “Sorting of Ice and Fire” podcast all that time ago.

Sidebar: We’re working on moving our podcasts to a proper hosting site, but hopefully that won’t affect our presence on iTunes! However, there likely won’t be full posts dedicated to sharing them anymore. We’ll see how we feel!

Anyway! Without further ado . . . LET THE SORTING COMMENCE!

Couch Potato: Jessica Jones Season 2

Hello all you OBVIOUS FORESHADOWINGS OF SHE-HULK, and welcome to our review of Jessica Jones season 2! Our heroine (?) wouldn’t beat around the bush, and neither will we. Super Hubs leads us off!

(And as always: ~*spoiler alert!*~)

We begin with Jessica exposing another unfaithful husband—which seems to be the bulk of the work she does as a PI—to his wife and rolling her eyes through the subsequent argument. However, this job’s a little different because Jessica’s semi-famous now. Unfortunately her fame comes from the fact that she very publicly killed Kilgrave at the end of Season 1. So the wife thinks the sensible thing to do is to ask Jessica to kill her husband. Jessica, as you can imagine, doesn’t respond to this well. (Eds. Note: I thought that was just a boyfriend, not a husband, given the clear age difference.)

The idea that the public views her as a killer and her lingering guilt over the murders she committed while under Kilgrave’s control are the dramatic threads that propel Jessica’s story for the entire season, and they’re easily the most compelling part of the season.

Less compelling is the entire story with Pryce Cheng, a rival PI sent by Hogarth to try and buy out Alias Investigations for…reasons? I mean, the reason is that Hogarth wants Jessica to be on her payroll because she wants her powers at her disposal. Why she can’t just ask Jessica herself…who knows. Hogarth is shady as fuck and I guess she just doesn’t know how to do things in a non-shady way. The show obliquely mentions that Jessica probably wouldn’t agree to be Hogarth’s personal superhero, but I’m not sure why she thought having a douchelord come and try to Alias would somehow make Jessica work for her. It’s pretty dumb. And douchelord Pryce gets his ass kicked for being a dick to her too often, after which he becomes the Robyn of this season—just goin crazy and assuming Jessica’s evil cus she has powers. Again, it’s dumb.

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Eventually, a weird dude comes to Jessica asking for help cus he says he has powers and he’s being stalked by someone. She ignores him. He dies. She feels guilty. This was a fun way to introduce a ridiculous character from the comics named Whizzer; too bad he died. Also, she clearly sees he has powers but still for some reason doesn’t believe he’s in danger. I don’t really get that part. Simpson comes back and we’re led to believe he’s the killer…for one whole episode before he gets killed by the real killer. Who turns out to be…Jessica’s mom!

The show had been kind of setting this up in the beginning with the incredible emphasis it places on her family’s ashes, but I assumed it was going to be her brother. This was a fun twist and, again, definitely the most compelling part of the season. Seeing Jessica’s interplay with her mom and her worry that deep down she’s a killer, like her mom, is always fascinating. We find out why Jessica and her mom survived the crash and why they have powers and it’s all because of a guy named Dr. Malus (a name that would be incredibly unsubtle if he was more of a traditional villain instead of just a weird hippy with a god complex.)

Much of the season involves Jessica trying to get to know her mother while also keeping her from killing anyone else. She convinces her to go to prison (and we get a shoutout to The Raft from the mainline MCU) and, of course, everything goes to shit. Her mom breaks out, they try to run away, her mom dies. I loved this story. It’s sad and interesting and full of enough action to get your superhero kicks. It’s too bad it’s dragged down by all the other stories surrounding it.

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First of all is Malcolm. He probably has the best story other than Jessica. He’s still desperate to help people and latches onto Jessica—almost like a surrogate little brother for her—as her secretary/private-eye-in-training. She fires him almost every day, they have fun interplay, and he slowly learns how to be a better investigator. When he and Jessica inevitably break it’s actually painful to watch.

Hogarth has a fairly interesting story where she’s diagnosed with ALS and at first is determined to end her life in a bout of hedonism and debauchery until Jessica convinces her to take in another one of Dr. Malus and Mama Jones’s victims—who she falls in love with and convinces to tell her about IGH’s experiments in an effort to find a way to be cured. I spent the whole season thinking Hogarth was going to become She-Hulk. The elements are there! She’s a lawyer who was looking to have weirdo experiments done on her, experiments that had already made two super-strong women! SHE-HULK DAMMIT! (Although I guess a case could be made that Jessica’s mom is She-Hulk; she does get periods of blinding rage that seem to make her even stronger.) Anyway, her story veers off in a direction that I genuinely didn’t see coming and Hogarth gets a horrifying, wonderful Magnificent Bastard moment. So even if the story really brought her right back around to where she started, that makes more sense for Hogarth than a cliche redemption arc. And it was fun to watch. I just wish she’d had more bearing on the main plot.

And lastly, we have Trish’s story. Which—with the exception of the gloriously awful single/music video for her trashy early 2000’s club song “I Want Your Cray-Cray”—was terrible. It can be summed up as such:

Why do you get powers? I deserve powers. I want powers. GIVE ME POWERS!!

It’s real annoying. She’s real annoying. And she pressures Malcolm into TAKING DRUGS! It’s messed up and I hate it. And the worst part: she gets powers in the end. No lessons learned, no growth, just an entitled white woman whining until she gets what she wants. Woo.

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As usual, the show was about four episodes too long. All of these Marvel shows really have to stretch themselves to reach that 13 episodes they seem to be contracted to do. Whenever the show is focused on Jessica, it’s amazing. Even the relatively weak episodes where she kills a prison guard and tries to make it look like suicide (it’s a long story) are elevated by her Kilgrave hallucinations. It’s just too bad a lot of the side characters got short-changed.

Overall, I’d give the season a 3 out of 5. Beloved wife, what are your thoughts?

Okay, honestly, I could spend a lot of time just talking about Trish’s terrible song. It’s really, really bad, and not just in a “Everyone involved is in on the joke” way. Watching the video, I literally can’t tell if Rachael Taylor (who plays Trish) is amazing at conveying stiff and awkward sexuality or if she herself is just really bad and unconvincing when she’s trying to go all “wet pop starlet dry-humping the air in skin-tight latex.” That whole scene in the show is awkward, and I think in a way they didn’t intend.

But outside of that, yeah, Trish’s story is kind of bullshit. SH didn’t even mention how after tricking Malcolm into taking drugs, she shoves him in a trunk so she can kidnap Dr. Malus and have him pump her full of superhero juice. Oh. And all of that is AFTER she fucks him (Malcolm) several times.

Trish….. C’mon.

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The drugs she’s using, by the way, are an aerosol version of the combat pills she took from Simpson last season. How’d she get the upgraded version? Essentially by stealing the inhaler from Simpson’s corpse. We then get several episodes of her sucking that thing like a teenage boy who has no idea how boobs work, and at no point does she think “Hmm. This is a finite supply, and the person who created it is dead [murdered by Jessica’s mom], so how will I get more?” I repeatedly asked, “What is she going to do when it runs out?” for at least two episodes before it became a relevant plot point. When she kidnaps Dr. Malus, I assumed she wanted him to recreate the drug; earlier, she was shown at some kind of medical center where she’d had the inhaler analyzed in the hopes those scientists could reproduce it. (They couldn’t, and also it contained things that no human should ever consume, aka continued use would kill her.)

So I guess, in a way, I’m glad she didn’t use Malus’s talents for that. But the fact that she’s STILL desperate to be a hero and do what Jessica can’t is insane. I’ll give the showrunners props, though—the stage for all this was set in season one, so none of it seems out of character for Trish. But it rubbed me the wrong way for the whole season regardless. Fully encapsulating white feminism, Trish tries to co-opt the story of people victimized by shadowy operation IGH to prove how great she is and how this should be her stepping stone to something better. This makes it all the more insane that, after putting her life in danger and almost dying, she gets rewarded with powers. I hope that, in season three, she realizes that there’s more to it than just deciding to be a superhero.

Oh! Trish’s story also had a very short side plot that was even more pointless than Pryce Cheng: her relationship with a fellow journalist, Griffin Sinclair. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HIM?! He encourages her to pursue the IGH story, then gets mad at her for being so ambitious that she’s willing to put herself in danger and blackmail a pedophile she knew from back in her Patsy days (a plot point, by the way, that’s barely worth having in the show), then is painted to seem like he’s going to steal the story only for it to be revealed that he was actually planning a surprise proposal. It’s very weird because how long have the two even been dating? We don’t know! So of course she declines his proposal and they break up. All before the season is halfway over. So, you know, why did we watch it?

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ANOTHER ridiculous Trish thing (because she has so many ridiculous things) is the continued existence of her mother, Dorothy. I get that familial relationships are very complicated, but I really don’t understand how Trish can keep letting Dorothy into her life when she obviously doesn’t give a shit about what Trish wants (and also STILL refers to her as Patsy). Mama Walker has done not one good thing for her in the time that we’ve known her *without* expecting something or trying to insinuate into Trish’s life. From everything we know about her, Trish’s mom is a garbage person who deserves no second (or third or nth) chances. But Trish is constantly handing them out while shitting on the one person who actually cares about her well being (Jessica).

In fact, Trish, who gave you permission to tell Jessica what to do with her life? She’s legitimately got PTSD, and you can’t strong-arm her into being the person you want her to be. Jessica even points out how Trish has too-high expectations for her, as if she wants Jessica to fail and feel like shit.

Sigh. Trish is kind of garbage, and I hope she gets some form of comeuppance in season three.

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Outside of all that, Jessica manages to develop a relationship with her building’s new super. He’s got a son who’s in awe of her and her powers, which is very interesting because it seems like she wouldn’t want the baggage of a child when considering a relationship. And this is extra baggage because the baby mama is alive and dragging the super through a contentious custody battle; she even kidnaps the son at one point, and Jessica and her mom stop them before they can leave town.

(Are you noticing how hard they went on family and family dynamics this season?)

Beyond THAT, there’s the fact that Malcolm ends up working for Pryce Cheng (I dunno why I feel obligated to say his full name). When he and Jessica break for real, they’re technically in the middle of a blackmail case for Hogarth (who wants to blackmail her partners into letting her stay at the firm, which has a clause that can let the partners kick her out for being diagnosed with ALS). Malcolm takes it upon himself to follow through on this, but when he asks Hogarth to have him on retainer the same way she wanted Jessica on retainer, she’s like “Nah, fam.” So he goes to Pryce Cheng, who’d offered him a job earlier in the season, and is therefore on Hogarth’s payroll by proxy. In the final episode, we see the three of them meeting in Hogarth’s office at the new firm she’s starting, and they’re discussing how they may need to do some not-totally-legal stuff for her.

This is upsetting to me. I feel like Malcolm has been the moral center of the show (even when he was a drug addict!), so watching him turn to the dark side—which included mindless, emotionless sex with girls he met online and didn’t bother to remember their names—is difficult. I’m hoping that he doesn’t turn full Hogarth in terms of what he’s willing to do to win. In case you’re thinking, “Nikkie, Hogarth isn’t that bad,” recall how she secretly bought Hope’s fetus in season one and how, this season, she exacts revenge on a previously homeless woman by tricking her into murdering her boyfriend! She’s fucking dark, you guys, and I don’t want her to taint Malcolm too much. SH thinks he won’t turn, but I have my concerns. Especially if Netflix is intent on padding out the seasons with odd filler stories.

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Seriously though . . . Hogarth talks someone into becoming a murderer simply because she was tricked into thinking her ALS had been healed by a powered person. I get that that was a really shitty thing for them to do, just for the purposes of robbing you, but Geri . . . No.

But also. Carrie Ann Moss fucking KILLS IT this season. She sells every emotion that she’s feeling so well. I would give her several Emmys for this season. She outclasses Krysten Ritter while taking up much less space in the series. This isn’t to say Krysten Ritter isn’t also great at playing the emotionally fraught Jessica; Carrie Ann is just doing a lot more than her this season.

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I feel like I don’t have much to say about Jessica’s story arc beyond what SH said. I will mention how I think everything that happens after the reveal that Jessica’s mom is alive (and powered) happens a little too quickly. Instead of the Pryce Cheng business and the Griffin Sinclair stories, I think we could’ve sped toward the reveal and then slowed down after. I really liked the episode after the reveal where Alisa recounts the highlights of her life in the wake of the Jones family car accident. But then it’s like rapid fire after that: Jessica hates her. Jessica helps her allude the police. Jessica saves her from Pryce Cheng. Jessica convinces her to give herself up. Jessica stops her from murdering Trish after she breaks out prison in the wake of Malus’s death (they were “married”). Jessica decides to run away with her. Trish murders her. It’s weird.

And the whole time, Alisa is way too desperate to be Jessica’s mommy, trying to brush off how shocking this must be for Jessica and write off how angry Jessica and ignore how she is effectively another target on Jessica’s back (to be fair, she finally comes to this conclusion at the very end, but damn woman). If they were going to stretch anything out in this season, it should’ve been the development of their relationship. Because I feel like I had to do slightly more belief-suspending/filling in of blanks on my own to make this speedy reconciliation possible.

There’s also just the questionable aspect of Jessica being ready to bail on Trish when Alisa shows up. By this point, Trish has been in Jessica’s post-accident life almost as long as Alisa was in her life pre-accident, so the argument that “Jessica has known her mother longer” is a little ridiculous. But! I will have much more on this in a post that will soon follow this one. (Stay tuned!)

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In conclusion, there was some interesting stuff in this season and some really fucking ridiculous stuff. I can see why people are quick to say it’s worse than season one because the villain (if we really want to call Alisa that) is far less compelling than David Tennant’s Kilgrave. But I ALSO kind of feel like that interpretation is sexist. This season focuses almost exclusively on women and their pain and their relationships with each other, and suddenly it’s failing to build on the first season’s reputation? Grow up, people. And acknowledge that if this season had actively tried to replicate season one, you would’ve railed against it for being unoriginal. I’VE HAD IT WITH YOUR USELESS CRITIQUES, AMERICA!

I’m a little bummed that now both Luke Cage and Jessica are coupled up with other people, but I’m sure they’re getting something out of these relationships that will prepare them to eventually get together. At least they’re both in interracial relationships; continue normalizing this, Hollywood!

So there you have it! Our more-or-less cohesive thoughts on the second season of Netflix’s Jessica Jones. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in season three. Will we go back so some crossover with the other Netflix shows, since Luke Cage was in the first season and then Foggy appeared for two seconds in this season? Although I suppose that would mean Danny Rand would have to be the one to show up, and who even wants that?

Until then, we’ll be around, frothing at the mouths as Infinity War draws ever closer.

May your

The Great (?) HIMYM Rewatch of 2018: Season 3

Hey everyone. Remember when we were rewatching How I Met Your Mother to decide if the last season literally ruined everything or if the show as a whole was potentially still good?

Neither do we!

Therefore, this is probably going to be a short post just so we can finally move on and finish this series—both in the show sense and the blog post sense. I mean, we’re watching and blogging about two other shows! (Well, Super Hubs is . . . I have yet to start Dawson’s Creek because I’m just so sure I’m going to hate it lol.)

Let’s go!

Nikkie’s Thoughts

OK. I’m going to be honest with you guys. We started watching this season fairly soon after posting about season 2, then kept procrastinating on the post, so we decided that we needed to re-rewatch it in order to properly post about it . . . And now another extended period of time that I can’t really remember has passed since THAT viewing . . .

We’re not good at blogging lol

In many ways, this should be the easiest season to blog about. It was our favorite back when we only had access to the first three seasons on DVD, and it felt like the beginning of the show’s peak as the seasons went on—S3 being the strongest, then S4 and S5 being not as good but still much better than the last four. (Goddamn, how were there NINE FUCKING SEASONS of this show?!)

But at the same time . . . I’m not sure what to say! I’ll give it a shot, though.

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This is the season I can best quote. In basically every episode, I could say a lot of the lines as they were happening. One of my favorites happens in the first episode, when Marshall puts his hands all over the chicken breast that he’s going to feed to Enrique Iglesias and says “Haha. Got him.” His delivery is perfect.

Basically, Jason Segel’s performance as Marshall is always perfection. He’s doing the best things with his face and body language. Followed by NPH as Barney. In fact, I think one of the reasons I love this season so much is because everyone seems fully realized, and they’re also really playing off each other. You can see everyone reacting to what’s being said from the background in the exact way that real people react; that kind of half-laugh because you’re on your phone but you still hear what’s going on around you. I feel like that is peak in this season.

Another great thing about it is that the show doesn’t just write off Marshall and Lily now that they’re married. They’re still a big part of the show, still dynamic, still making mistakes. We discover Lily’s insane credit card debt, Marshall struggles with his continued employment in corporate law, and they irresponsibly buy a condo that has fucked-up floors. These are all really interesting life stories, and I’m glad they didn’t just toss Marshall and Lily off to the side now that they’d become The Married Couple(TM).

Will I be able to say the same thing once they become parents? I honestly don’t remember, so I guess we’ll find out!

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Despite the things that are good about the season (which also included the humor; again, because everyone knew their characters really well and had the delivery on point), I realized something unfortunate:

This is the season when Ted starts to be problematic.

will die on the hill that the speed date he takes Stella on is romantic as fuck. I love that scene. But I also get how it’s a little gross that he was effectively trying to trick her into liking him for 10 weeks. (I do think it makes it a little better that she did say early on that she had a crush on him and that she never told him she was uninterested in him as a person, just that she would say no to a date. These are important distinctions in my mind.)

What’s more, however, is how he’s just super weird with women this entire season. It starts with him feeling like his break-up with Robin is somehow a competition, so he effectively uses Mandy Moore’s character (in episode one) to feel good about himself. Sure, she was probably using him too, but if he’d found just a normal woman, it would’ve played a lot worse. Then, there’s how he backslide-sleeps with Robin and GETS MAD AT HER FOR IT. He actively tries to slut-shame her by saying she forced herself on it, as if he wasn’t into the idea at all.

THEN, the biggest issue to me is how he ends his friendship with Barney over the fact that the latter slept with Robin. That’s so fucking childish. He doesn’t consider at all that Barney might have some latent feelings for Robin (spoiler alert: he does). Instead, he chooses to make the situation about him, ignoring the fact that he himself slept with Robin months before and also currently has a girlfriend that he supposedly serious about (but then decides that he should dump her three episodes later because she invites him to her sister’s wedding…). No, Barney committed an ATROCITY and therefore their years-long friendship is moot. Over some girl they just met two years ago. That’s fucking ridiculous, Ted, and it should’ve been a clue to Ted’s future kids that when it comes to Robin, he will always choose her over everyone else. (SHE WAS JUST LURKING IN THE WINGS WAITING FOR HIS WIFE TO DIE, YOU IDIOTS . . . Sigh. Wait till season nine, Nicole. You can share your rage then.)

I do still think that the way the Stella story ends is fucked up—and the revisit in a later season with The Wedding Bride is just horrible—but also . . . Ted deserves to get fucked over. Plus, he BARELY gets fucked over because he gets a job out of it . . .

I’m getting ahead of myself again.

The point is that even though I love the group dynamic throughout a lot of the season, and I feel like everyone knows the characters well, Ted’s integrity starts to unravel in this season. And it just gets worse as we go along.

Honey, your take?

Super Hubs’s Thoughts

So I’ve said it on this blog before, but it’s more difficult to write about the things you enjoy than the things you don’t enjoy, hence why this post took s’damn long. That being said, I feel like I like HIMYM less and less as the years go by. There’s…a lot of problematic shit in this show. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. Guys, in this season Barney says that he sold a woman. And we’re suppose to laugh about it. Human trafficing ain’t funny. Barney is a legitimate criminal and should be in jail. I don’t care that he’s been gathering dirt on his company for the Feds this whole time (we’ll get to that in season 9), the dude is bad. Real bad. Not funny sitcom bad, but actual should be in jail for his remaining life bad. Just watch the Bracket episode and tell me he’s not the worst person in the world. And yet we’re supposed to give him a pass just because he’s played by NPH, one of the most charming men in the world.

But hey, whatever, he’s just a side character. Maybe we can forgive the show and ignore all that bad shit. But no, Ted is just as bad. Yes. Just as bad. As Barney. I will stand by that for the rest of this recap. Ted treats women as trophies. He does it in a more “romantic” way than Barney, but he is still treating them as conquests. Just look at how he treats Robin for the rest of the show. He gets pissed off at Barney for sleeping with her, despite the fact that they are no longer together, he has another girlfriend, and who Robin sleeps with is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. He constantly obsesses over her in a very unhealthy way and freaks out whenever anyone else is with her. He gets so petty when she’s dating Enrique Iglesias in this season even though, as Robin puts it, he parades a series of skeezy skanks in front of her all season. (Which, that’s another thing, Robin and Lily are always slut-shaming people in this show). He’s the worst.

And, while I do think the five-minute date is pretty adorable, I can’t help but think how Ted’s penchant for Big Dramatic Gestures is just another form of emotional manipulation. Ted is, at his core, a broken, insecure man and the show doesn’t focus on that nearly enough. He’s trapped in this cycle of abuse and manipulation and we’re supposed to find it charming. Well I don’t and I never have. Ask Nikkie. We used to have arguments about Ted all the time.

Also, Barney sold a woman. I feel like people don’t talk about that enough.

This is also the season where Ted’s absolutely infuriating aggro love for New York first shows up. There’s a whole episode where he and Barney trick a couple of women into thinking they’re tourists (again, Ted is just as bad as Barney and people need to acknowledge that) and then goes on a big rant about how they’re not real New Yorkers cus they live in Jersey. News flash Ted, YOU’RE NOT FROM NEW YORK. Stop acting like you were born and raised in New York and like you’re some authority on what it means to be a New Yorker. You’ve only lived there for like 8 years. Stop being such a damn poser.

Guys. I don’t like Ted.

Marshall and Lily have always been my favorite part of the show and that holds true in this season too. Jason Segel is a supremely talented actor and Alyson Hannigan is always charming, even though the writers don’t give her much to do. Same with Cobie Smulders. I genuinely like Cobie as an actress, it just sucks that her character is so poorly written. But she does what she can.

So yeah. This season makes me laugh more than all the others, but I feel like I’m already exhausted by the show. That’s not a good sign. Can’t wait to see how angry I get about the rest of the seasons!

Look at that. We brought in this recap at under 2,000 words. Go us!

Sooo yeah. This is our favorite season . . . and it’s still got some stuff. Hmm. Last year, when we started this rewatch, I brought it up to a friend at work, and she was convinced that we’d come out of this with a better opinion on the show. But if we’re already picking apart the seasons that we actually like . . . I don’t have high hopes.

I’d say we’ll see you soon but . . . let’s be honest here. The next post will happen when it happens.

May your favorite shows end long before they ruin themselves,
Nikkie and Super Hubs

Words Gone Silver: “A Wrinkle In Time”

How-dee y’all. Your devilishly dynamic duo is here to lay down some sweet, sweet reviewing of the Ava DuVernay–directed film A Wrinkle in Time, based on the book written by Madeleine L’Engle. Only one of us has read the source material—care to take a guess?—so there will be some book-related talk and some movie-only talk.

Either way, you’re entering a ~*spoiler*~ zone.

Let’s go, warriors.

Nikkie’s Book-Based Review

So, I was super excited to see this movie when I heard it was coming out, when Ava DuVernay was attached to direct, and when I started seeing those stunning teasers—not to mention the fact that L’Engle was one of my favorite writers growing up.

Then I read a random article—I don’t even remember where—talking about how the amount of time that passes between when studios lift the review ban and when a movie gets released has a correlation to how good or bad the movie is. The shorter the time span, the worse the movie likely is. Given that the lead time for Wrinkle was about a day, the article posited that it was probably going to be bad. This is dubious science at best, obviously, but it still made me wonder if I should steel myself for disaster. Continue reading “Words Gone Silver: “A Wrinkle In Time””

All Our “Narrative Toolbox” and “Slurred Words” Appearances

Hi-dee-ho! Nikkie, here.

Now, if you follow us on Twitter, you have this knowledge, but for those of you who don’t: Super Hubs and I have been frequent guests on a podcast and YouTube channel run by a friend of ours, Ryan. You may recognize Ryan’s voice from the podcast episode around the MCU we did last year.

The Narrative Toolbox is a podcast where Ryan, ideally, explores what makes storytelling effective across any medium. On Slurred Words, the conversation is a little looser, often tied to a more specific work, and generally drunker!

While you should absolutely listen to all of Ryan’s episodes, if you want to skip to our appearances, then here are the links!

Narrative Toolbox

Slurred Words

This is easy: Every video that’s not just the uploaded audio of a podcast episode is an episode that SH and I are in! See how easy?

So there you have it!

If you’ve been sitting there wondering, “Hey, how come MWB hasn’t posted any new podcast episodes in a while?” it’s because we’ve been hanging out on Ryan’s! But we’re hoping to start producing more of our own, probably with some crossover with Ryan’s show, this year. Keep your ears peeled, and until then, enjoy our guest spots on Narrative Toolbox and Slurred Words.

Playback: The Majesty of “Black Panther”

Greetings, nerds.

I say this because I’m pretty sure anyone who follows us regularly HAS to be a nerd of some sort. So, rest assured: I’m saying it with love.

Today, at long last, Super Hubs and I are bringing you our thoughts on Marvel’s latest triumph: Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther. We saw the movie on Presidents’ Day, happily contributing to its massive box-office take over that four-day opening weekend. And it’s taken us this long to blog about it because we needed to collect our jaws from the floor and remember how to breathe.

Now that we’re more or less alive again, we’re here to give you the goods! Because the entirety of the plot matters, please enjoy this ~*spoiler alert*~. Continue reading “Playback: The Majesty of “Black Panther””