Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen

Greetings all you Hoci and Poci and welcome to the most wonderful day of the year! The veil between this world and the next is thin, witches have taken to the skies, werewolves stalk the streets, and vampires have seen returns on some very smart investments they made in the last fiscal year. The world is buzzing with supernatural energy of the spookiest kind! And tomorrow is me and Nikkie’s anniversary so the party just gets to keep going for me! It’s the only time of the year that I feel really alive.

So here’s something weird: I’ve never talked about the Halloween series on here before. And here’s something even weirder: I hadn’t even seen most of the Halloween series before. I’d seen the first one, the third one, parts of the fourth and sixth, about ten minutes of the one with Busta Rhymes, and the trying-way-too-hard Rob Zombie reboot. But that’s it! You’d think I’d have been all-in on the series that bears the namesake of my high holiday from the very beginning but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I even grew to appreciate John Carpenter’s original. See, I’d seen the very first Halloween when I was pretty young. It was at a time when I was old enough to watch horror movies without crying, but too young to appreciate subtlety. So of course upon my initial viewing I dismissed it as boring and didn’t try again for over a decade. Ah youth. It makes us all so so dumb. Continue reading “Spookyween #4: Halloweeeeeeeeeeen”

Spookyween #3: The Haunting of Hill House

Hello all you old buildings hungry for the psychological hangups and insecurities of early middle-aged white people! Today we’re talkin’ about a classic. Now, full disclosure, avid horror fan though I am I do have some surprising gaps in what I’ve personally consumed. Some classics of the genre I’ve just never gotten around to experiencing. The Thing, never seen it; The Silence of the Lambs, never seen the movie or read the book – though I find it dubious that so many consider it a horror as opposed to a thriller; Rosemary’s Baby, more like NOsemary’s Baby (I’m hilarious); and up until recently I’d never read “The Haunting of Hill House.”  Continue reading “Spookyween #3: The Haunting of Hill House”

Spookyween #2: The Shining

Hello all you imaginary people living in children’s throats! Have I talked about The Shining before? Surely I have. I never SHUT UP about Stephen King. But look, going through the archive to find out when and how much I’ve talked about The Shining is a lot of work. Work I don’t feel like doing. No one has ever accused me of being thorough in my blogging. So buckle up buckos! We’re talking adaptation, authorial intent, and abuse today! Should be fun!  Continue reading “Spookyween #2: The Shining”

Spookyween #1: A Taste of Beaumont

Hello all you foolish mortals and neurotic vampires! It’s the MONTH OF SPOOKS and that means I, your humble horror host, will be delivering weekly content all about the things that creep, the peeps that crawl, and the horrible undulating monstrosities that go bump in the night! No time of year energizes me more than this stretch of 30 days and unfortunately it goes by in a flash. So bring out your blood bags and call your skeleton friends and let’s get this party started!
Buckle up folks, this is gonna be a long one.

Continue reading “Spookyween #1: A Taste of Beaumont”

The After Word: Clarissa Should’ve Stopped Explaining

Hello, my lovelies! Ya girl Nikkie is back with some not-so-sweet bookish babbling today. That’s right, friends. Today, I bring to you the ever-elusive NEGATIVE review of a book.

Try to compose yourselves. I know that I’m typically an easy person to please, so you’ve probably retired to your fainting couches now, processing this news. But the truth of the matter is that even with my open-minded, “Well, they tried their hardest!” demeanor, I come across something that I consider just straight-up garbage. See: my review of Gilmore Girls. And that extends to books.

The book in question? Things I Can’t Explain by Michael Kriegman. This book, sweeties, is written by the creator of the ‘90s staple/launcher of Melissa Joan Hart’s career Clarissa Explains It All. It is a look at Clarissa in her twenties. And

I know what you’re thinking. I’m just being hyper critical because I don’t want my childhood to be tarnished. But, I was actively excited to read this book! I was so ready to see what kind of cool shit Clarissa was up to and whether her wacky fashion sense was going strong (it is, but it’s still in the “bad things” column). So, imagine my utter and complete horror when I start reading this book and find that it is GOD AWFUL.

Let’s dig in. (And as you should’ve assumed: spoiler alert) Continue reading “The After Word: Clarissa Should’ve Stopped Explaining”