Justice League Review

Hello all you emotionally stunted man-children in nocturnal mammal costumes! Super Hubs here with a review of Justice League! We’ve got brooding, we’ve got punching, and we’ve got a crazy fan theory with basically no real evidence! Should be a good time…even if the movie kind of wasn’t. As always, spoilers follow so tread lightly if you’re concerned about that sort of thing. Pro-Tip: There’s not a whole lot to be spoiled in this movie. Let’s go! Continue reading “Justice League Review”

Halloween 2017! 5 Overrated Horror Movies.

Hello you roaming spirits searching for you next fix of that sweet sweet soul juice…it’s HALLOWEEN! This is my favorite holiday as I’m sure you could have guessed/I’ve probably said. Seeing all the spooks and creeps makes me feel just so alive. The Halloween season is what I look forward to every year. As soon as my anniversary is done (which happens to be the day after Halloween and is therefore part of Halloween I DON’T CARE WHAT NIKKIE SAYS!) I immediately begin looking forward to the next Halloween season. Which, by the way, starts in July for me.

Sadly though, this Halloween season has been pretty…bad. I’ve felt it everywhere. The decorations feel like an afterthought, the specials are mediocre, youtubers I usually rely on to do a bunch of fun stuff for Halloween have done barely anything or what they’ve done has been cynical. There’s a David Pumpkins animated special and it’s terrible apparently! It’s been a dire year and it shows in this Halloween. Thanks a lot trimp! You ruin everything!

So needless to say this year I’ve been feeling pretty down. So now I’m gonna lean into that feeling and shit all over movies everyone likes! Isn’t that fun?? But I’m not gonna just contribute to the negativity of the year. I’m also going to suggest a better movie to watch instead. So hopefully it’s a net positive! Continue reading “Halloween 2017! 5 Overrated Horror Movies.”

IT Month Finale: Raving about IT

Hello all you traumatized children linked together by a cosmological Turtle! Here we are, the review I’ve been avoiding writing for since before this blog was this blog. I’ll never shut up about how hard it is to write about the things you love and I love this thing more than any other thing. This is my all time favorite book by my all time favorite author with my all time favorite monster. This is the book I’ve read more times than the amount of years I’ve lived. This is the book that makes me want to write while simultaneously making me feel like nothing I write will ever be good enough. This is the only book that I would gladly pay thousands of dollars for a signed first edition.

This, of course, is IT.

Why didn’t you know that? What the hell have I been talking about all month ya dinguses! Don’t you all have egg on your face.

So let’s get this out of the way. IT is a perfect ten. It’s beyond rating for me. It transcends any petty mortal rating scale. I have to say that up front so that you know this is barely a review. This is just me gushing about a book for a billion years. So be ready.

You should all know the story by now. A group of kids brought together by a string of grisly murders to fight a paradimensional demon in the shape of a clown. They come back together 26 years later to fight it again. S’fine, you all know that. The story is actually kind of simple which I think is one of the book’s strengths. On its surface the book is almost an adventure novel. It’s a gritty reboot of the Hardy Boys. You can easily enjoy it as a simple story about a group of kids way more badass than you fighting a monster. Sometimes I’ll do readings of the book that are just that – skipping the long interludes and skimming the chapters to get to the action. But beneath the adventure story is a deep rumination on fear, grief, sadness, and abuse. King’s specialty has always been inserting very real characters into very unreal situations and I think IT is the prime example.

And the writing itself is just beautiful. King has a tendency to be a bit schmaltzy. His books are all written with a lot of sentimentality. Sometimes it’s handled well, sometimes it’s egregious; but in IT I think he does it perfectly. The sections where the Losers are kids are full of palpable nostalgia. You can practically feel King longing to go back to his childhood and experience the magic once again. But he also cuts through that nostalgia at each turn to reveal the darkness underneath. But even amongst the gruesome killings and psychotic bullies, there is hope. There’s courage and love and friendship. And these things have power.

There’s actually a very common idea in a lot of King’s books. If I may go off topic for a bit and talk about The Dark Tower; in the final book the main character Roland finally comes to the eponymous tower and confronts the big villain that’s been behind all the shit. He’s called the Crimson King and we’ve never seen him before this book, but we’ve heard about him. His followers are all horrified of him and barely want to speak his name. We hear he’s been working at destroying all reality for millions of years, that he’s older than time, that he’s the most powerful sorcerer to have ever existed. He can destroy worlds on a whim, he commands legions of twisted demons, he creates plagues with a whisper. And then Roland confronts him and…he’s an old man trapped on balcony shrieking curses and throwing bombs. He’s beaten by a guy painting him and erasing him. He’s a chump.

A lot of people were disappointed by this but really they should have seen it coming. Because the theme that King writes about over and over is that evil is really very small. It makes a lot of noise and it’s really good at making you afraid, but if you just stand up and confront it, it’s really much weaker than good. IT is the first time I ever noticed this theme in King’s writing. The Losers are able to beat Pennywise because they stand together and face it instead of turning from it and sweeping it under the rug like the rest of Derry. It’s really a very beautiful sentiment.

And then there’s all the crazy cosmic stuff. So Pennywise isn’t a clown or a fucking spider; it’s really a paradimensional horror. There’s this whole scene where the Losers get high on smoke inhalation and Richie and Mike see a vision of Pennywise’s invasion of Earth. And he may have been the comet that made the dinosaurs go extinct. That’s how I read it when I was a kid and I refuse to believe anything else. If you read King’s other works it’s pretty heavily hinted that Pennywise is actually a creature from a place called Todash space, which is basically the space between dimensions. And his species is actually what’s behind all the trouble in Under the Dome. And part of how the Losers beat Pennywise is by talking to a giant space turtle who literally barfed up the universe. The Turtle is also mentioned in The Dark Tower series. I love it. The Turtle’s so cool. AND then Richie basically beats Pennywise by telling it really terrible jokes. It’s great!

Also I do want to touch on the sex scene that everyone always brings up. In the wake of the movie’s success I saw a lot of people writing about it online and describing it as a “child orgy” which is…misleading. Most of them also seemed to think the scene was about the Losers forming their bond. This is wrong. Like, literally five pages later the Losers do their blood pact. A scene that is specifically mentioned as them forging their bond to return to Derry. The sex scene isn’t about forming a bond, it’s about losing innocence. The context is the Losers are trapped in the sewers, trying to find their way out, but they can’t. Pennywise’s magic turns the sewers into a labyrinth and the only way they can get out is to break Pennywise’s magic and the only way to break the magic is to not be children anymore. It’s not written in a way that’s meant to titillate, it’s supposed to be horrifying and disturbing and gross. It’s a scene about sacrificing childhood and turning into adults and the real visceral fear that can accompany that milestone. There’s a reason that it occurs during a part of the book where time is folding in on itself and we keep flashing back and forth between the Losers as adults and the Losers as children. And a major part of Bev’s arc is her fear about puberty and the way she feels apart from the boys because she knows they’re looking at her differently. Earlier in the book she sees two of the bullies playing with each other’s dicks and she’s terrified and curious and grossed out all at once. A feeling I think we can all relate to but one that I’m sure is much different for girls. She knows that she’s changing and that there’s something dangerous about that change. She’s acutely aware of the danger that men pose to her now even if she doesn’t fully understand it. The sex scene follows the theme of facing a fear to overcome it.

It also plays into another theme of the book: the cost of magic. The Losers undoubtedly use magic to defeat Pennywise and each time there is a cost. In a way Bev having sex with the other Losers is a sort of paganistic sacrifice. Which…is problematic for sure. And I’m not trying to say that the scene isn’t weird, it is, or that Bev being reduced to a pagan sacrifice isn’t problematic, it is; but it also fits with the book. To be honest I skip the scene in most rereads. I think there could have been another way to get the themes across…but then I also don’t think the book is made worse because of the scene. It was probably a bit of an artistic overreach on King’s part but it does fit with the message he was trying to convey and I really think he very skillfully handles Bev’s fear of puberty throughout the rest of the book. So yeah…it’s weird…but necessary. Maybe? But weird. It’s only like a page so it’s easy enough to skip.

Guys I’m not gonna lie. I had originally written, I kid you not, 3000 words here. Like…even I realize it was too much. So I cut it. I CUT IT ALL AND IT HURT ME. I want to talk about this book forever. I could talk about this book forever. I have talked about this book for literal hours to people who barely cared because I love it so much. I’m nuts about this book as evidenced by how rambly this had been and how incoherent the other 3000 words were. So instead of subjecting you to that I’m just gonna list a few of my favorite moments:

  1. The Story/Death of Patrick Hockstetter – Patrick Hockstetter is one of the bullies that hangs around with Henry Bowers and his crew and he is by far the scariest thing in the book. He suffers from solipsism – a severe psychosis wherein he believes that he is the only thing that truly exists. He murdered his baby brother and likes to murder animals in terrible ways. His death is incredibly gruesome and his inner monologue during actually somewhat parallels Pennywise’s inner monologue when the Losers are going to kill it. So that’s fun.
  2. For that matter, all of the scant inner monologues we get from Pennywise. It is a creature so outside of human morals that it’s always fascinating to get a look into its psyche. But also it really seems that its psyche is being changed by its long time among humans.
  3. Bill’s incredibly badass line “You shouldn’t have started with my brother,” right before they beat the shit out of Pennywise.
  4. Bev’s gunslinger moment. As she’s about to shoot Pennywise with a silver ball bearing the description of her mental state directly parallels the description of Roland’s mental state when he’s shooting in The Dark Tower books.
  5. All of Pennywise’s transformations into cheesy horror movie monsters. They ain’t so cheesy when they’re actually trying to eat you.
  6. Richie telling Pennywise horrible jokes.
  7. The Turtle.
  8. The Ritual of Chüd

Seriously guys. There’s no way for me to convey how important this book is to me. It changed my life and it was what really showed me that I wanted to write. I wish this post was more eloquent, I wish I was better at this so I could make you understand. But I can’t. IT is the quintessential horror novel. It’s beautiful and sad and frequently funny and it really distills Stephen King’s style. It is, to me at least, perfect.

And that friggin epilogue makes me cry every time!

Thanks for indulging me guys. Even though this is our blog and I can do what I want and you really can’t tell me otherwise…thank you for dealing with my crazy. I might have one more post up for Halloween that has nothing to do with IT! Probably. Hopefully.

Until then…tell me what your favorite horror stories are in the comments! I wanna know. Even if they’re not traditional horror. Go crazy with it! I certainly did.


IT Month #2: IT (2017)

The last time I went to see a movie in the theater more than once was The Avengers back in 2012. If I may take an immediate digression – The Avengers only came out 5 years ago!? It feels like it’s been decades. I know this is because Marvel puts out approximately 700 movies per year. Point is, I don’t usually go the theater for the same movie more than once. So far I’ve seen IT three times. Partly that speaks to how obsessed I am with the story – have I mentioned how much I love the book – but I swear it also speaks to the quality of the movie.

This is a good movie ya’ll! Let’s talk a little about why. Continue reading “IT Month #2: IT (2017)”

IT Month #1: The Mini-Series

Hello friends and neighbors and welcome to my most self-indulgent feature yet! I’ve mentioned before that IT is my favorite book and you guys know that October is my favorite month. So I decided to make a big ol’ Reese’s Cup out of that shiet and mash em together! All month I’ll be reviewing IT in its various forms starting at the worst and ending with the best. And you might be surprised by the order!

But you won’t. The book is the best form. Come on guys.

And the worst is the 1990 miniseries. No review of the miniseries can be complete without the caveat that Tim Curry is a great Pennywise. He is for the most part but mostly because he’s being Tim Curry in clown makeup. But how does the rest of it hold up? Let’s find out! Continue reading “IT Month #1: The Mini-Series”

The After Word: Isobel

Friends and readers it has been a while! Super Hubs here with my first book review in months! Game of Thrones and a very busy movie/Netflix season kept me from reading as much as I’d like but now it’s time to get back into the swing of things. It’s Halloween season ya’ll, the only season where I’m truly alive. And to kick the season off I have a very…interesting book to review. So sit back all you oiled up witches dancing a fierce bacchanal, today I’m reviewing Isobel! I have to warn you, this is going to be a long one. I mean, pretty much everything I write is long so you should be used to that by now.

To begin, no mention of this book can be made without first talking about Rowena Morrill. You may not recognize her name, but if you have even a passing interest in…well any kind of genre fiction then you definitely know who she is. Rowena Morrill more or less defined the look of sci-fi and fantasy covers in the 70s and 80s. She’s an incredibly prolific artist and she has done paperback covers for some of the biggest names in fiction. These include H.P. Lovecraft, Isaac Asimov, Madeleine L’Engle, and Arthur C. Clarke. It’s only because of her that I ever even heard of Isobel.  Continue reading “The After Word: Isobel”

Words Gone Silver: Stephen King’s IT

Hello you vampiric beasts from between dimensions, Super Hubs here with a very quick review that I’m positively giddy to write! It’s been a crazy year for me, vis-a-vis Stephen King adaptations as two of my favorite books have gotten movies! And while The Dark Tower needed a few caveats and asterisks for my enjoyment, this movie is just simply phenomenal!

I’ve written before about how difficult it is for me to review things that I love. It’s for this reason that I’ve never reviewed IT. IT is my favorite book of all time by a wide margin. I’m sure I’ve mentioned that before and I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I read the book at least once a year. I’m crazy about it ya’ll! And so when it was announced all the way back in 2009 that IT would be getting a new film treatment, one that would stick much closer to the tone of the book, I flipped my shit. I’ve been wanting this for so long guys. I love the old miniseries, but no one has ever accused it of actually being scary. Or good. Really the only reason anyone remembers it is because of Tim Curry who – despite some solid performances from both the child and adult actors – easily steals the show. But this movie guys…this movie might be the best book adaptation I’ve ever seen. As always, Spoiler Warning.  Continue reading “Words Gone Silver: Stephen King’s IT”

Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones, Season 7, “The Dragon and the Wolf”

Hello, all you giant monster babies, and welcome to this season’s final installment of Recap the Realm! This was a doozy of an episode and the longest of the show by far, so expect several thousand words. You knew what you were getting in to! So let’s get right to it.

Lord MWB: Season 7 has been a bumpy road. There have been glorious action pieces, baffling character decisions, weird timelines, and a general sense that we’re just really racing to the end as fast as we can. It’s been rough, y’all. But with this last episode, the entire season has mostly been redeemed. Mostly.

The meeting at the Dragonpit was exciting just by sheer volume of characters, we got some fun dialogue from…everyone really, and Bronn and Tyrion finally quipped with each other again, which is honestly half of what I wanted from this season. And Sandor teased us oh so sweetly with the promise of Cleganebowl. I’m honestly not too mad we didn’t get it because the show hasn’t set up the dramatic weight of it the way the books have, but I’m still excited to see it eventually. There’s so much to go over from this scene, I can’t even wrap my head around where to begin. Continue reading “Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones, Season 7, “The Dragon and the Wolf””

Recap the Realm: Game of Thrones, Season 7, “Beyond the Wall”

Hello all you zombified polar bears and welcome back to Recap the Realm!

Today, we’re serving up elation and disappointment in equal measure as we try to catch our breaths and stop our pounding hearts. “Beyond the Wall” was a frustrating and amazing episode, and boy have we not been able to shut up about it.

Lord MWB: Hope you’re all ready, cus I’m gonna rant!

The further away from the books that Game of Thrones strays, the more it becomes like a sprawling D&D campaign. The complexity of character that so defined the early seasons—and is essential to the books—is dropped in favor of spectacle and sprawling action. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; TV is a visual medium after all, and there’s no way the show could have ever hoped to match the scope of the story told in the books. It’s necessary to look at the books and the show as two completely different types of stories. The books are complex, nuanced, deep fantasy with serious themes; the show is now incredibly light fantasy with great action and fun characters that maybe takes itself just a little too seriously. David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are pretty talented guys, but this season has proved just how far behind GRRM they are. They may know the general story beats that George is going to hit, but they do not have the skill to connect those beats in a very satisfying way.

Not to say that they’re terrible. In a way, they can’t really be blamed. They are beholden to George’s story, but his story isn’t finished yet. It was clear from the beginning that they would deviate from the books, but I think as the end of the written material rapidly approached and they started to realize that they were going to have to go it alone for the last stretch, they wound up straying further than they ever intended and wrote themselves into a bit of a hole. It’s unfortunate, but it does serve to keep us from knowing exactly where the books are going. The show is, to me, now just an extended trailer for the books and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “Beyond the Wall” showcased both the strengths and the weaknesses in the new, bookless telling of this story.

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I want to start with the good. Pretty much everything beyond the Wall was fantastic. The dialogue was funny, the characters had great chemistry, the action was phenomenal, and ONE OF THE DRAGONS DIED YA’LL!

This part of the episode was a whole hell of a lot of fun, even if the premise was undeniably weak. This is what I mean when I say the show is like a D&D campaign. You have all the standard character classes (Paladin – Jon, Barbarian – Tormund, Cleric – Thoros, etc…), you have magic swords, you have hordes of low-level fodder for the heroes to kill and gain EXP, and the Hound even made a quip about this being Beric’s last life as if they were in a video game. It’s not very deep, but man is it a lot of fun. And Tormund basically forcing himself to be the Hound’s new BFF is as hilarious as it is adorable. And all the broing out definitely upped the stakes as the party was surrounded and seemingly all hope was lost. Nikkie will go into all of this more than I will, so I just want to highlight the scene where Tormund almost died. I felt it, guys. His cries for help were very realistic, and I was ready to cry manly tears! I admit it kind of sucks that Game of Thrones has been so reticent to kill any heroes this year, but at the same time I’m glad my favorites are still alive.

One thing to note: When the Hound kicked that wight, all of the other wights reacted, right? GRRM loves to write stories about hive minds clashing against creatures of independent thought like humans. Pretty much all of his sci-fi stories touch on this theme, and while I don’t think it means very much in the show other than giving the heroes a solution to the problem of the vast numbers of the dead, I think this has massive implications for the books.

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And now the bad. Winterfell. What in the absolute eff is going on at Winterfell? Why is Arya so stupid now? Why is Sansa so stupid? Why is Littlefinger still alive? I’m so angry about all of this, and if there isn’t some sort of satisfying conclusion to this, then Winterfell is the Dorne of this season.

Sansa’s explanation of the note that Arya found is fine. It makes sense. Why is Arya pretending like Sansa had any other choice in the matter? Arya KNOWS how terrible Joffrey was. She KNOWS how terrible Cersei is. She KNOWS that Sansa had the choice to either play along or be tortured. I like that Sansa threw her bullshit back in her face about doing something to stop Ned’s execution ‘cus yeah, Arya, you didn’t do shit either.
Remember last season when Arya was watching the play, and she watched the girl playing Sansa with a mixture of longing and sadness? Remember how it seemed like she missed her family and even missed her sister whom she didn’t get along with? What happened to that? Remember just like two episodes ago when she had a tense but genuinely emotional reunion with Sansa? What happened to THAT? What happened to Sansa seeing through Littlefinger’s shit!? Everyone got dumber in the space of two episodes just so Littlefinger could do his schemy Littlefinger bullshit with impunity again.

My only solace in all of this is that right after Littlefinger hinted that Sansa use Brienne against Arya, Sansa sent her away. That long look she gave the door after Brienne left can be read in a few ways: either Sansa was wary of Brienne, thinking that she might side with Arya or something, or Sansa saw through Littlefinger’s bullshit and sent Brienne away to spite him…somehow. And then there’s the fact that in their last scene together, Arya gave Sansa the dagger after talking about cutting off faces and wearing them. I hope…HOPE that Arya has been testing Sansa or something. Like she’s trying to see where her loyalties lie and make sure Sansa’s not a willing participant in Littlefinger’s schemes before springing a trap. I’m hoping Littlefinger dies in the finale and Arya takes his face. If so, it will bring some redemption to this Winterfell story. I’m not confident that they can pull it off in a way that isn’t dull and unsatisfying, but it’s better than Arya and Sansa being enemies because the writers just made them dumb. We’ll see. Hopefully I’m singing a different tune next week.

Oh and Jon and Dany held hands and stuff, and I had absolutely zero interest.

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So yeah. This episode is weird. The mission beyond the Wall was fun; great dialogue, good action, and a Blue Eyes Wight Dragon. I give it a B. But the Winterfell stuff is a big fat F. Next week will hopefully make it a little bit better. Also it’s looking more and more like we’re getting CLEGANEBOWL!

Sorry again for being so wordy, Nikkie!

Lady MWB: Am I literally the only person in the world who really doesn’t care about Cleganebowl?? Probably. Oh well. Moving on.

So. I’m hearing you, dear readers and also my dear husband. I’m hearing all of your concerns and your annoyances. You are being heard. But. I’ve never been one to really say “What a shitty episode of Game of Thrones” because even the worst episode of this show is miles better than a lot of the other crap they’re trying to pass off as television these days—and this is coming from someone who actively chides people for comparing pieces of entertainment that come from different genres.
I love this show, so I just let it happen to me. Did I get caught up in what happened during the episode? Then it was a success for me. I’m extremely easy to please when it comes to watching consuming shows and movies (but also really easy to piss off—HOW HARD IS IT TO KEEP HAIR CONTINUITY IN FLASHBACKS, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER?!), so unfortunately I cannot join the majority of you in hatred of this episode.

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Apparently I’m talking about stuff beyond the Wall? I don’t really know what to say! Thanks for putting me on the spot, SH . . .

Obviously, my favorite part was Tormund and Sandor. I want them to be our next Kingsroad-trip pair. They deserve a spin-off that’s just them trading hilarious banter. “Dick? I like it!” “I bet.” Perfection.

I was pretty sure Thoros was going to die as we came into this episode. Mainly because a lot of people were talking about how they figured Beric was going to die, and I’m like “Well, for that to happen, Thoros has to go first or else he’ll just bring Beric back.” So when he got nommed on by that bear, I was like “Yeah, that seems about right.” But also, for a split second, I was like IS THAT ABOUT TO BE GHOST?! because it would’ve been awesome if Ghost burst onto the scene, having followed Jon to help out but also giving him major side-eye for leaving him behind in the first place. (Although . . . And obviously ignoring the whole “The dog portraying Ghost died/cost of the CGI” thing, perhaps Jon wanted to leave Ghost behind so he could protect Sansa just in case, considering she’s been without a direwolf for a long time.) Anyway. My point is that I was pretty shocked when Thoros didn’t immediately die after the bear attack, and it seemed like there was no point in dragging his barely living body around just to have it die in the middle of the night while they were marooned.

The battle scene was intense. Not quite Battle of the Bastards intense, which I do think I’ll say stressed me out more than Field of Fire 2.0 because the odds were really stacked against the people I wanted to win in the former as opposed to the latter, but still intense because how do you merk a bunch of zombos?! I feel like we’ve seen that it’s pretty damn difficult, and the fact that they were so greatly outnumbered was just like HOW WILL THEY EVEN MAKE IT OUT?!

Enter Dany, straight up with dem dragons. You were all there, so I don’t need to talk about how easily she lit up those zombo-fools. But even though you were there, I absolutely have to pour one out for Viserion. Because that actively hurt me to watch. Not because I really cared about Dany’s non-Drogon dragons (I wasn’t even aware that was Viserion until multiple people on the internet said so) but because HE BASICALLY EXPLODED. That was so rough to watch. It was one of the first things I thought about when I woke up post-episode, and I’m still messed up. What a heart-wrenching scene. Especially the way Drogon and Rhaegal just keened with sorrow; much like the zombos’ hive-mind reaction to that one getting kicked, they felt that spear drive home and extinguish their brother’s flame.

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And I know a lot of people are like: Where the fuck did those chains come from? SH posed that this likely isn’t the first time the White Walkers and their zombo army have come across dragons, so they likely had tactics lined up for a long time. And I’ll buy that. But HOW DID THEY KNOW TO GET THAT READY FOR THIS PARTICULAR ENCOUNTER?! Answer me that, show people. Answer. Me. That.

Do they have the ability to see into the future? I could see some credibility to that. After all, they were created by the Children of the Forest (according to the show), and the CoF can see through time with the help of the weirwood trees. So there’s a possibility that somehow the White Walkers have a talent for seeing through time. In fact, it would answer how they knew when to come for Craster’s sons because it’s not like he could send them a text to be all “Yo. Cm pk up mai boiiiii.”
I’ve just convinced myself that they can see the future.

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Enough of the Snow-icide Squad and their nearly bungled attempt to steal a wight.

Oh wait. Shout out to Gendry. He gets the Running Man award. That Christian Bale lookin’ mofo.

Anyway. Where the hell is Bran? I know the obvious answer is “Underneath the tree, getting high off his own wizard fumes,” but I mean in a larger “Why isn’t he stepping in here?” sense. Because Bran. Boo-boo. I know you’re not technically Bran anymore, but it really seems like you should have interrupted this Sansa/Arya nonsense to be like “Hey. Littlefinger is doin’ you a heckin bamboozle.” Or just say “Hey! We do not have time for your bullshit squabbles because there’s literally so many other things going on right now.” Heck!

But I will say that I’m probably the least bothered by their bickering out of everyone I know. Sansa and Arya were never on good terms before The Shit went down, and even though The Shit has gone down, that doesn’t mean those wounds are just healed over. This is literally how every family reunion in history has ever gone. Everyone is all happy to see each other, then someone gets a little too drunk, someone else spills a little too much tea, and the drama begins. So it was really only a matter of time before things got tense between these sisters because they’re just different.
What’s upsetting for me is that Littlefinger is playing a part in it. If he weren’t, I don’t think we’d still be in this part of their story. If it were just normal sister shit, they’d already be on their way to mending fences because they’d realize that while they lead wildly different lives, that doesn’t mean they can’t work together. But because Littlefinger is here, twisting things, he’s making everyone’s actions seem a lot more nefarious than they actually are. Sansa has every right to be concerned about the way the Northern lords perceive her because they’re fickle as fuck! Arya has been fighting to get back to her family (or avenge them when she thought everyone was lost) for years, so of course she thinks that brand of loyalty is more important above everything else. Also, she’s an assassin. So much in the way Bran isn’t normal anymore, neither is she. It would require adjustments on both sides, and Littlefinger is messing it all up.

Littlefinger needs to be dead, is my point. Just go away, bro. Go die in a carriage fire.

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I’m super not here for Dany+Jon, but damn did they try and force it on us this episode. I resigned myself to a scene of them boning as I watched Dany anxiously wait for Jon to make it back to the Wall. I’m glad they didn’t, but I did feel a little bad for Jon when Dany pulled her hand out of his and he just looked so hurt. You can hold my hand any day!!! *eyebrow waggle*

So that was the episode. What could POSSIBLY happen in the season finale next week? Off the top of our heads? Cleganebowl (although the basis for this is up in the air—literally what is the motivation for the characters?). The Night King will use VICErion (do you see what we did there?) to bring down the Wall. Cersei will do some kinda heckin bamboozle. Euron (and Yara??) haaaaaaaas to show up again, right? No matter what, we can say for certain that our hearts will explode multiple times until we are dead piles of deadness.

We may have to start drinking now.

May your undead uncles save your skins at the last possible second,
Lord and Lady MWB

Photo Credit: Mashable

Couch Potato: The Defenders

Hello all you dragon punchers! Super Hubs here again and guess what: It’s quick review time!

The Defenders have a long and confusing history in the comics and have counted among their members most of The Avengers, a good portion of the X-Men, and several B-list heroes. Ironically, until the Netflix shows started airing, Daredevil had never been a part of the Defenders. They have fought inter-dimensional monsters, vampires, and all sorts of weirdos. Netflix obviously couldn’t afford to make the show quite that large scale, but what the show does have in common with the comics is a deep connection to New York City.

Unlike the Avengers, the Netflix shows have spent a lot of time presenting our heroes as people who have an almost pathological inability to work with others. Yeah, the Avengers are all A-type personalities and argue a lot, but they’re a team made up of a soldier, a CEO of a major multi-national corporation, two spies who have worked together for years, and a god who spends a lot of time fighting alongside his fiercely fashionable companions. The only one who’s a loner is Hulk, and even he has a legendary bromance with Tony Stark.
The Defenders, however, are all just assholes who happen to be good at punching. Seeing how the show would bring them together and convincingly make them mesh as a team was one of the things I was most looking forward, and it actually pulled things off. It even made me like Danny! What a twist!

As always, there will be spoilers. Like, right after the drop, so read no further if you want none!

Continue reading “Couch Potato: The Defenders”